Sunday, October 5, 2008


I’ve been often told I’m a natural born empath. I was born like this, I guess. I’m intuitive and emotional and have always been able to pick up and channel the emotions and energies around me by simply glancing at them. Through an empathic bond, I can sense other people’s pain and emotions and see the inner beauty that shines from their souls. Far from belonging to the paranormal psychic’s tribe, I’d rather say that I have an expanded sensitivity that I feel like the inner power of healing with words and presence.

Over the years I have tried to shield myself so that I do not feel sad or miserable on account of others. Only a few got passed the walls I’ve built up to stop being hurt: the least harsh of words still can hurt me.

Feeling solo is beautiful. But nothing compares to feeling together. It takes two to tango, do the soul-to-soul synapsis and practice the natural ability to put oneself into another's shoes.

Talking about other people’s shoes; these Dr Mortensen black boots of Bob in my room were hurting my eyes like hell. You know, these awful heavy punk boots so out of fashion nowadays; yet he was so attached and fond of them that he wouldn’t do any throwing.

He left these huge boots at my place on a rainy day before the summer and never collected them. Just as if he had read my mind, he phoned me the day after my picture kissing Ed had appeared in all the Sandwichian tabloids.

- Len. –he said-
- Bob.-I said-
- Is that you and Ed Davies in the papers?
- Yes.

He kept quiet. I sensed pain and burning pressure in my heart. It wasn’t really what I was feeling but rather a faithful reflection of his sorrow inside me.

- I see. –he said, shortly-

He was not the kind to communicate openly, but to hold back words and emotions. By luck or misfortune, our moments of glory and our heart-gripping story of impossible love were fading away.

The irrefutable evidence of that was my indifferent, almost cruel, answer.

- What do I do with your Dr Mortensens? –I asked-
- What?
- Your boots.
- Oh fuck off.

He put the telephone down. That was rude, wasn’t it? But he missed his chance. And contrary to what they say… the postman never rings twice.

I didn’t regret it much. I always realized Bob was the non-committal type and knew this would happen, so I was ready to be ditched some day.

I put the boots in a big plastic bag. He had a 48 shoe size, and they were coming off my dustbin. So I decided to throw them away in the nearest bin, which was just around the corner.

On my way there, I had the strangest encounter: No sooner had I thrown Bob’s boots, a gipsy woman who came out of the blue followed me and gave me a little branch of rosemary. I dug into my pocket and handed her some coins, but she wouldn’t go. She whispered incomprehensible words, took my right hand and started telling my fortune. Her voice was rough and bewitching.

- You are a kind-hearted and good natured child. You come from a good mother and father …

Yes, I’m such a lovely little girl. I had heard that before.

I was intimidated by her terrifying look. Her big yellowish eyes were like the devil’s eyes. She had shiny jet black hair falling all along her back down to her thin waist, which was covered with veils. She was savagely beautiful and scary.

- You sometimes have a little bad temper, but it soon goes away. You're sad and alone, and some people envy you. Somebody gave you the evil eye, but I will take this curse away from you saying nine prayers to the Lord and offering up nine roses on the ninth day of the ninth month.

Evil eye? Uh oh, how come I didn’t know all that?

The religion thing –even the so-called universal or natural religion- gives me the shivers. And as far as I know, I neither suffered from supernatural bad luck nor had enemies looming up out of the mists of superstition. So it was a big fat NO, THANKS.

- That’s very nice, but I don’t pray. -I said-
- You should, me dear. All creatures have a place in the universe and God always listens to them.
- Well, for the moment I’m not interested in talking to Him. Or Her. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to do. Goodnight.

I turned back to leave; I pulled my hand away from her, but she would never surrender, and seized it even stronger. She got closer, and staring into my eyes, said solemnly:

- You will give birth to a baby girl and live for ninety nine years. And now I will tell you the names of the two men in your life: There is a Robert who feels for you and an Edward who loves you from the bottom of his heart.

What a coincidence. Or was it perfectly planned? Whatever it was, I was not in the least interested in knowing how on earth she had found out about my bizarre triangular love situation.

When she stopped talking, she opened her hand and looked at me in the face. Her words became orders.

- You owe me 100 G. -she said-
- What?? You must be completely nuts.

Her eyes threw daggers at me. My hands were trembling with fear and I shivered down my spine. I thought she was going to conjure up some kind of terrible revenge, like cursing me and my descendants for five generations.

She suddenly changed her voice and whispered sad and softly:

- My dear child, you have to pay me so that I can take away from you the curse of the evil eye. Don’t be upset. Pay me happy my sweet, and misfortunes will disappear from your life.

Don't ask me why, but I gave her the money. I still don't understand why I did that. As soon as she had it, she ran away as quickly as if she had to break a speed record. I was ashamed, humiliated, afraid and furious at the same time. How stupid could I be?

I rushed back home, right on time to answer the phone.

- Hey sweety, I’m back in town. How do you feel? –asked Ed-

My heart skipped a beat. I smiled a big smile, as if he could see me.

- Ooh, It’s so nice to speak to you again, Ed. Now I feel much better, thanks –I said-
- Would you like to meet up tonight, babe?
- That would be cool! We could go to this very trendy new club… wait, I can’t remember the name… I have it on the tip of my tongue…
- No worries, Leni. I just want to be with you, that’s all.

But I was still thinking what the club’s name was.

- It's The Little Mermaid Club. Like the fairytale from Andersen.

He was quiet. And I bet he smiled.

- Do you know that tale, Ed? –I asked-
- Yes, but I’d like to hear it from your lips. Why don’t you come to my place? We’ll lay on the white leather couch, view the crashing waves out the window while we warm up by the fireplace and have a glass of red wine… and you'll whisper The Little Mermaid Tale into my ear…

WOW. That sounded so romantic.

That night I ended up telling a fairytale to the child in him. My little mermaid fell in love with the prince, but...

Was never betrayed or heartbroken;
Never threw herself into the sea at the break of dawn;
Her body never dissolved into foam;
She never turned into a spirit or became a daughter of the air.

She remained by her prince and they lived happily ever after.

- Why did you change the end of the story, Leni? -he laughed-
- Because I like happy endings -I said-

I rested my head on his naked chest. My thousand little empath sensors started feeling intense waves of love like I'd never felt before.

And they were directed to me.

"Thank you" (Dido)


Antoni said...

Hola Leni,
I fevered to read the next chapter of your story. I appreciate that you finally decided in one direction. I am quite sure that you will not be disappointed by Ed. He is brave and honest from the bottom his heart.He is driven by emotions but also by circumstances beyond his control. Do you think he will fight for your relation ?, I think so.
However, it remains to be seen what Bob will do now. He is obvious not a person who gives up too easily. Whatever will happen: It is good or your fortune.
The end of Anderson's mermaid-fairytale was a historical delusion. I am glad that you finally corrected this.
For me there is one question left: Has the little fortune-teller really removed the curse of evil eye?
I am sure that I will hear more about it

Nevertheless, you touched my heart again

Thousand Kisses

Leni Qinan said...

Hallo Antoni!

Wow thanks a lot for your enthusiasm, I really appreciate!

You ask about the prospects of a relationship with Ed. You're right, he is certainly a brave and honest man, very emotional (just like me). I really like this kind of mature and solid love; everything seems to be safer and truer than with Bob; Bob's love is a counterpoint to that -erratic, weird, unconventional, unexpected-and it also has its charm, but it wears me out. I'm sure he won't give up so easily, it's gonna be the fight of the two alpha males probably, hahaha.

For the moment, as they say in the tennis matches, it's ADVANTAGE ED.
We'll see what happens.

I'm very glad to know you also think the little mermaid deserves some happiness. It was such a sad story. I like to think she's happy with her prince, though they might have a good fight sometimes and then a good session of makeup love, hahaha.

About the fortune teller... based in a rl character -a gipsy fortune teller who scared the hell out of me some years ago, telling true things about my past and present and then my future. Some of these things are still happening. And yes, I gave her the money, I was petrified and she looked like she was gonna kill me if didn't). My advise is: never listen to a fortune teller.

I'm very concerned about some of the things she said: a baby girl... 99 years of life... and how on earth has she found out about my two lovers?

I think the evil eye was just an excuse to scare me out and get my money, hahaha.

Nice to know you enjoyed!

Many many butterfly kisses. ;))

tom909 said...

I have never heard that word 'empath' before. It's a great word.
Now, just as I decide I prefer Bob to Ed, you go shack up with Ed, and now I feel sorry for Bob. Relationships are a hell of a bind Leni, that's my view.
And as for the fortune teller - you should have smacked her in the face and asked her if she saw that coming. I'm not buying into that spooky stuff. I was told I would have seven children and I only had * (so far).
Great story Leni!

Grass said...

Hey sis, i'm so sorry for not commenting here soon.. I badly want to read your recent posts but I've been extremely busy with fieldworks and always away from my laptop. I will be leaving soon for field again.. I will try to get online next week on my break, promise!


Leni Qinan said...

Hey Tom!

Never heard the word ‘empath’ before? Just google it, it’s all over the net! I first thought it would be ‘empathic’, but no. It’s EMPATH (learn English with Leni Q, lol).

How come you prefer Bob to Ed now? Oh Tom, you’re supposed to be on Ed’s side! He’s a wealthy Burdish editor, the crème de la crème!

And no, I haven’t shacked up with Ed yet –I just visit him and sleep with him, but I don’t have a toothbrush and nightie at Ed’s place yet, so I’m still living in my tiny flat downtown (don’t know for how long tho, lol).

And yes, you’re right about the fortune teller: I should have kicked her ass! (About your experience: you can still have seven children, lol, so your fortune teller could be right!).

Take care!


Leni Qinan said...

Hey Grass! Nice to see you again!

We all missed you big time, yes, but no worries dearie: Hanny told me you were out on fieldworks.

I’ve just been checking your blog regularly to have a clue of your comeback, and here you are.

Don’t worry, ok? Take care at the fields and come back soon. ;))
Big kiss from your sis.

Grass said...

Okay, my boss said we'll leave later than expected so I had time to read this post. your version of "The Little Mermaid" is the one I like better. I like happy endings too! The first time I read Hans Christian Andersen's version, I got disillusioned! As is my habit, I read the book after watching Disney's version. So you can just imagine what I felt after reading Andersen's tragic version.

I digress, I know this was gonna happen soon but I'm really glad that you and Bob are over and you're with Mr. Davies now. *i'm not sure if Max will agree with me though, hehehe* As for the boots, you could have donated it to some poor folks on the street.. :) But i'm not sure Bob is gonna like the idea.


gotta read the other posts i missed out...

Nahuatl said...

Its great news, Leni :)

Forget that old f-teller.. I have been duped a few times by ppl like her. Tragic! :D

Still, I feel sorry for Bob. I also posses some of your powers :) {only much stronger to feel far away in other lands :P :P }
He may not be best..........

Fernando said...

Esas botas han colocado asu propiestario, en mi corazón, en muy mala situación....

Un beso.LeTi.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi again Grass!

I always thought your boss is such a nice guy! I only hope he won’t keep you doing too much overtime.

I remember reading Hans Christian Andersen’s little mermaid tale when I was a kid and feeling so sad. I actually even hated the prince! LOL. It’s cute that you like my version –it’s so unfair and sad for the mermaid in the original version-. The Disney version is a lot more fun and suits you perfectly, hahah.

You’re a bit of an empath too, sis (so sweet and sensible).

You’re right, it seems that Mr. Davies is definitely gaining ground (you can call him Ed; he looks kindof hyper-attractive 45ish Johny Depp ;))

About the boots… yeah you’re right; obviously my reaction was absolutely emotional: to throw away these boots was like definitely breaking up with him (maybe I can check the bin, they might still be there and that hobo who stole my bike some posts ago could use them ;))

Big hug.

Leni Qinan said...

Hey Nayan!

I hope you’re okay; you better try to shield yourself from my empathic powers, they can go real far away and sometimes overwhelm other people (also empaths, maybe you too) with feelings.

That fortune teller was really scary! I’ll follow your advice, actually I don’t need my fortune to be told (I feel quite happy and satisfied with the way things are developping, but

I’m sure Bob will be reappearing on the scene).

Take care!

Leni Qinan said...

Hola Ferni,

Pues sí. Como le decía a Grass, no son las botas lo que acabo de tirar a la basura, sino mucho más. Suerte que el tío tiene más conchas que un galápago y seguro que vuelve a por más caña. Ya verás.


Leni Qinan said...


Fernando said…
I feel deep in my heart that the owner of these boots is between a rock and a hard place…


Leni said…
That’s right. As I said to Grass, it’s not just the boots what I was throwing away, but much more. Luckily, he won’t give in so easily and I bet he will be coming back for more very soon. Just wait and see.


max said...

Hey Leni!

I absolutely loved your version of “The Little Mermaid”. I would just have added that the prince was charming and they lived happily ever after in the most typical Schreck-like fashion.

Why on earth do you listen to a fortune teller in the street, Leni? What she said to you was rubbish and she stole your money!

I’m glad to see you’re definitely getting closer to Ed. Does he really look like Johny Depp? (take care, he might have scissorhands, loool).


max said...

Dear Grass,

I actually think Leni will be much better with Ed Davies than with Bob Gausman. Both have a lot going for them, but in my opinion, Ed suits her better.

I have nothing against Bob. And Leni is actually a great girl, but she’s a bit wild and needs a steady and upright man to feel loved and safe and balance her life. And I don’t think Bob can do that for the moment.

So for once in a lifetime, Grassy, I’m very pleased to agree with you. ;)
(just teasing you)


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Est-ce qu'en amour le facteur ne sonne pas toujours deux fois ? Non !
Et Et pourtant ! Avec autant de douceur ( et de romantisme ) c'est le fleuriste qui sonnerait chaque jour à votre porte ;)

(*A mon clin d'oeil , avec gentillesse*)

Et pourtant comme le dit Charles Aznavour

Nahuatl said...

Max seems very intelligent! :)

I completely agree with him.

Leni Qinan said...

M. Crabtree… que vous êtes gentil!

Merci pour le video de Charles Aznavour, j’ai beaucoup aimé…
Mon histoire d’amour avec la France a commencé quand j’étais très très petite à Grenoble où j’ai habité pendant 3 anneés à cause du travail de mon père. J’ai grandi tout en écoutant Charles Aznavour, Gilbert Bécaud, Jacques Brel, Georges Moustaki, Edit Piaf, Mireille Mathieu…

En amour le facteur sonne deux fois, oui, mais… avec la même personne? Crois pas, mais si vous dites qu’il sonne deux fois, je vous crois..

Eh bon, le fleuriste sonne quelquefois à ma porte, mais pas toujours, mon cher ami, hahaha.


Leni Qinan said...


Crabtree said…
Does the postman not always ring twice? No way!
Nevertheless! With so much sweetness (and romanticism) it’s the florist who would ring your doorbell every day ;)

(*winks kindly*)

(*adds a link to the video of the song “Et pourtant” from Charles Aznavour*, recommended to play)

Leni said…
M. Crabtree… you’re so nice !
Thanks for the video of Charles Aznavour… I really liked it…
My love story with France started when I was just a little girl at Grenoble, where I lived for 3 years due to my dad’s job. I grew up listening to Charles Aznavour, Gilbert Bécaud, Jacques Brel, Georges Moustaki, Edit Piaf, Mireille Mathieu…

The postman rings twice for love, but… with the same person? I don’t think so, but if you say so, I believe you…

Well, the florist rings my doorbell sometimes, but not always my dear friend, hahaha.


Leni Qinan said...

Oh yes, Nayan.

Max is very clever, but sometimes a pain in the *rs* as well (you'll get to know him, he's the most critical voice in this blog, and a very nice guy too, just like you ;)

Take care and enjoy your days off. ;))

max said...

This is for Nayan:

Thanks, dude. You sound very clever and steady too.

Thanks for your support (Leni usually doesn't take any notice to what I say, perhaps you'll be luckier than me).


its so hard to let those old things/habits go sometimes...

Leni said...

That's right, Voices.

Those boots were not just boots. We often feel attached to some things/habits that have a special meaning in our lives and it's painful to leave them behind. We'll see how it goes. ;))

Take care.

hanny said...

Hi, I'm so happy to hear about you and Ed!! I've always had a feeling that he's the guy for you. Hope everything will work out well for you two.
Sorry I missed to comment on your previous post again. Wow, I didn't know Ed was 'that' famous. It seems like you can handle the publicity and famousness though! ;))
Anyways, Andersen's version of Little mermaid was sad and wrong. My daughter has that version in a kid movie and she got confused why the Prince and Little Mermaid didn't kiss at the end (she saw the Disney's version first). Imagine what a 3-year old feel after seeing a not happy ending! I had to have her watch the 'happy version' of Disney's.
That was freaky about the fortune teller! I don't believe in those kind of matter though. Your present is dictated by your past and your present dictates your future.
So glad you've turned away from Bob and went for Ed. I have to say: you're on the right track girl! :))

Lots of smiles and hugs for you :X:X

Leni Qinan said...

Hey Hanny!
Ed has been slow but steady. I hope it works out well, but... life together is not easy -just wait and see-

No worries about missing posts, dear! No obligations -and real life always goes first-.

Yeah, Ed is 'that' famous. Besides, Sandwich is a very small country where people like to gossip. For the moment I get by with publicity.

You're right Hanny, some fairytales are absolutely sad and cruel. The Little Mermais is one of them (I can think of The happy prince, Hansel + Gretel, and what do you think of Bambi? Hundreds of kids from all the countries -including me- cried when his mom was killed). I'm not surprised of your daughter's reaction. Some stories can be too sad for a little girl.

The fortune teller is a weird character. i hope I wont find her again. These things make me a little nervous.

Thanks for your support with Ed. We'll see how it goes :))

Many many hugs 4 U 2.

Roberto said...

Hola Leni,

Nice to be here (first time) in your home. I fell I have lost a lot of interesting previous things(boots history, for instance...but not only). I will try to read more and more.

Be lucky and be patience with my spanglis, I am sure I will rest here for a long, and learn english with you ;-)