SURREAL ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Leni in the sky with diamonds

My eyes widened as I let out a small gasp. It wasn’t like when someone bumps his groin area on your buttcheeks at the tube, but I didn’t like it to be pushed.

So I turned around quite annoyed and saw this skinhead thin tall guy right behind me. I figured that the queue was busy and it was what caused him to bump into me, so I let it go. Otherwise I would have slaughtered him.

- I’m sorry. Someone pushed me too. It was kind of domino effect –he said-
- It’s… okay, no worries –I answered-

He had penetrating eyes under his round glasses that gave him a bohemian intellectual look.

- I hope I didn’t bother you.–he said-
- Oh no, not at all. It was an accident. –I answered-.
- My name is Moebius Hax. I’m flying back to Mawi-Mawi, the place where I live and work. –he said-
- Nice to meet you, Moebius. My name is Leni.
- Nice to meet you too, Leni. You can call me Moe.


We shook hands quite formally. Obviously, he was not Sandwichian; in that case we would have done the traditional Sandwichian cheek kissing salute. We’re warm and hospitable people over here.

I couldn’t believe the amount of information about himself he had given to me in just a short sentence. Maybe he expected to be supplied accordingly about me, as would be right and proper? No way! I was not exactly keen on making friends with total strangers. Talking to me when I refuse to unveil my personal mysteries can be very tiring: One has to draw the words out of me with a corkscrew. And it may sound silly, but just in case he would feel like asking again, I shyly took a step forward, so he couldn’t see my tomato red cheeks after our presentation.

The queue was progressing and we started to walk towards the boarding gates. And yes, my recent new acquaintance wanted to know more.

- Are you travelling to Mawi-Mawi? –he asked-
- Yes. I’m on holidays.
- Lucky you. Have you ever been there before?
- No, it’s my first time.
- I really hope you enjoy it.
–he said smiling-.

I can’t stand to fly, and as soon as I caught my plane, I decided to take two tranquilizers, strong enough to knock down a gorilla. But it was always better than getting sloshed to the point of unconsciousness, as I usually do when I have no choice but to fly.

The small red box that Ed had given to me was in my pocket; I couldn’t wait to open it. And I did it right after the takeoff.

My heart was pounding. I opened the box… and I gasped in amazement: it contained the most beautiful brilliant sparkle ring I had ever seen. It glowed with a brilliant aura, shining like the morning sun, displaying amazing shades of purple, lavender and blue, forming a jaw-dropping tiny magic rainbow. I was breathtaken.

I put the ring on my finger and stared at it for at least ten minutes, sighing, with a smile on my face.

But the magic pills I had swallowed before worked so well that soon I fell into a profound sleep. I had a fuzzy dream about Ed grabbing my hand and proposing on bended knee, saying:

‘Marry me. I’ll make you happy, or at least I’ll try’

My sweet dreams were interrupted when the plane hit a bad pocket. I woke up to the clanking sound of my food tray. I heard from afar the pilot speaking over the loudspeaker:

"Ladies and gentlemen, there is some rough weather ahead so please put your seat belts on and your tray tables up."

The flight attendants shut and removed everything, went back to their seats and quickly buckled up. The roaring of the engines caused a strong vibration on the floor, as if the pilots would be struggling to keep the course of the aircraft. Oxygen masks dropped from the ceiling as the plane descended rapidly. The passengers were completely silent, paralysed with terror.

I cried of fear. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck’

The plane was right about halfway over the ocean. And jeez, I didn’t want to feed the fish yet! There was a strong bump, followed by more bumps. I kept a firm grip on the ring, scared as hell. I was shivering and sweating. My teeth chattered. I sent a desperate message from my lips to Ed’s ears, whispering a quiet promise:

‘If I survive this flight, I’ll marry you’

But I didn’t trust my telepathic abilities, and my words were all lost in the deafening clatter of the plane’s engines.

Time appeared to not move forward. But after some minutes of horror that seemed to last forever, turbulence became less frequent and the plane recovered stability. I looked around. None of the passengers were reading anymore or working on their laptops. Everybody was still getting over the fright.

I was exhausted from the tension and fell asleep again, still overdosed on tranquilizers. When I woke up, Moebius Hax was sitting beside me.

- How long have I been sleeping? –I asked him-
- Half an hour. You’ve missed the turbulence. It has been the best roller-coaster I’ve ever been on.

This is what I call to look on the bright side of life, in the most typical Monty Python’s fashion.

I immediately looked at my ring, to make sure it hadn’t been a dream. But no! It was still there, around my finger! I smiled, reassured and fascinated. How was so much beauty possible?

- Could I have a look? –he asked, pointing at my hand-

In spite of his unwelcome intrusion upon my private moment, I handed him the ring.

- I’m a jeweler. Hence, my interest.–he explained-

He took the ring carefully with his thumb and index finger and stared at it closely.

- What do you think of my awesome diamond ring? –I asked, enthusiastically-
- I’m afraid it’s not an awesome diamond, but a beautiful zircon, Leni. And the rest is not even gold. It’s fake jewelry. Sorry to disappoint you, but as a professional jeweler, it’s my duty to tell you the truth.
- Thanks for your assessment, Moe, but I didn’t really need it.
- Well, I’m sorry. Diamond jewelry is most often given in love. So if you expected a real diamond…
- I’m not greedy for diamonds, furs or expensive cars, so I’m not disappointed. To be honest, I don’t really care whether it's real or not. It's the sentiment behind it that should matter most. And I feel treated like a queen just to guess what that sentiment means.

Moebius smirked and played with his cell phone suspiciously. There’s always near a pedantic know-all who lets you know how stupid you are. I can’t deny that I was upset about it.

- Can I have my ring back now, please? –I asked-
- Sure. There you go.

He gave me back the ring and I put it on my left middle finger. I still couldn’t stop looking at it. To me, it was the purest and most exclusive diamond ring. I rubbed it with my fingers and took it to my cheek. Fake or true, that really didn’t matter to me. I felt an immense love and a huge amount of energy flowing through me.

"Ladies and gentlemen, in ten minutes we will land in Mawi-Mawi. Sorry for the bumpy ride." –said the pilot-

Before we landed, I thought it would be a good idea to resume old habbits and ordered a double whisky, which gave me huge satisfaction and incredible peace of mind. Nevertheless, I was not exactly sure what I was celebrating. That ring, whether it was true or false, needed further explanation.






"Lucy in the sky with diamonds" (The Beatles)
Renaming this wonderful song: Leni in the sky with diamonds ;)

15 comments:

Crabtree said...

Moebius Hax !Au look bohème intellectuelle ??
Il y a plus de fous acheteurs que de fous vendeurs.


Arc-en-ciel du matin, pluie sans fin,arc-en-ciel du soir,
Il faut voir !

(*p'tits bisous,p'tits bisous*)

Skeeter said...

HI Leni!

Wow, that was quite a turn in the story. Didn't see that bumpy one coming. Can't wait to read more dear. It's great.

Best wishes,

Skeeter

Grass said...

Well sis, I'm glad that you were not bothered if the ring is fake or not. Like they say, it's the thought that counts. Hmmm, but if you need second opinion, you have one lovely geologist out here who can check the ring for you.. hehehe All I need is my hand lens to check whether the diamond is fake and nice tile to check whether the metal is gold or not.

That guy who sat with you is suspicious so be careful if you see him in Mawi mawi.. Tsk tsk


xxx

INNER VOICES said...

EXCELLENT AS USUAL!!!!

max said...

Leni,

This guy is really stingy! I’m sorry to be the only one in disagreement here, but he’s filthy rich and yet he buys you a fake ring! Come on!

If he really wanted you, he should have moved his ass to buy you the most expensive diamond ring at Tiffany’s instead a Hello Kitty plastic thing or a false ring, which is almost the same thing.
You’re too good for that dude, Leni.

Big hug.

Dick said...

I would be really disappointed not having a diamond but I'm sure there is more to come.

Leni Qinan said...

Bonjour Crabtree!

Il ya partout des gens qui nous déçoivent quand nous avons de grandes éspoirs et des illusions. C’est le sentiment qui doit prédominer sur la valeur matérielle. Mais, oui, vous avez raison : il faut voir.

PS.- Ce Moebius Hax semble douteux et indigne de confiance, n’est-ce pas ?)

(*bisous câlins*)

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Skeeter ! Thanks! I’m glad that you like the story!

What an horrifying bumpy flight! I remember having had a missed approached –it was scary- on a flight to London. I don’t need to drink, but I have my tricks to relax and distract me. Including some slight tranquilizers prescribed by the doctor. :)

Best wishes.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Grassy!

I really don’t mind whether the ring is fake or not. There’s a strong feeling laying underneath this gift, and I’m sure Ed will be able to explain the real nature of this ring, and its true meaning.

I’m very curious about the methods to tell if a diamond and gold are true or false. I don’t believe too much in jewelers –they might have equipment to do that, but they also run their business-. Can you really tell if a diamond is true only with a hand lens? And a tile? Wow. Please, tell me how you do it, dear.

Big hug to you+ baby CM

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Zack!
Thanks! Don’t work so hard and take some days off with Ms Cheese and mini cheese girls in Mawi-Mawi. It’s simply beautiful.

Take care!

Leni Qinan said...

Max,

As I said to Grass before, I’m sure Ed will be able to explain the real nature of this ring, and its true meaning. Until that moment, he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Take care.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Dick!

Hm... would you really be disappointed? So you agree with Max about Ed being stingy this time.

I'm totally sure here's more to come and a lot to explain. You know what they say: diamonds are the girl's best friends. lol

Grass said...

sis, it's a bit tricky to tell a diamond from a fake one considering that most fakes nowadays really do resemble real ones.. Real diamonds are very hard (Hardness is 10) and can scratch any other minerals; the cleavage pattern (the planes/facets where light bounce off, giving the diamond its adamantine property) is often imperfect in natural diamonds which you can tell using a geologist's hand lens (10x magnification). Laboratory-made diamonds however are almost always perfect (hence, are more expensive). Diamonds are also octahedral, meaning, it has 8 faces that reflects light, so you can start counting now.. hehehe and plus, if the cleavage planes (facets) of a diamond looks too perfect, chances are it's fake. Pure diamonds are also very dense (heavy).. it's density would range from 3. 15-3.5 g per cubic cm.

Gold is malleable so you should be able to bend it, flatten it, into any form without breaking it. Plus if you scratch it against a tile, it should leave yellow marks.. If it leaves any other color, what you have is a fool's gold (pyrite minerals, for instance)..

I hope these help you.. ;-)
xxx

Grass said...

and Oh, gold should not dissolve in hydrochloric acid... fake gold dissolves in acid tests.. hehehehe

Leni Qinan said...

Hi sis!

Thanks a lot for your interesting mineralogy class. I really didn’t know it was not that easy to tell a diamond from a fake. But summarizing, I could do this:

1- Scratch a glass, for instance. (I’ve seen it in the movies)
2- Look for natural imperfections as opposite to artificial perfection. (you’ll have to lend me your geologists lens, sis).
3- Check the density. (I think I’ll leave this one to the experts, lol)

About gold:

4- Scratch it against a tile and look for a yellow trace. I’ve seen this done once, and then the tester dropped some liquid on the tile. If it was true gold, it was supposed not to disappear.
5- Not to use hydrochloric acid, just in case it would be fool’s gold.


Thanks for this interesting tests, Grass. But I really don’t mind wether Ed’s ring is true or fake. I guess there’s more to it than what I’ve just written. Let’s wait and see.