SURREAL ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Mystic hunting (III)

The morning after, we woke up to the buzz of his cell phone, which he had set the night before to start at 7AM. As he opened is eyes, I put my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

- Good morning. –I said, beaming at him happily-.
- Good morning, sweety. Did you sleep alright? –he asked, smiling -.
- I slept like a rock. You too, I think.

He nodded.

- Let’s get ready, Len. We should go into the woods before birds and rabbits can smell the danger.

After a hot coffee, we walked into the forest. He led the way.

- Hunting is a primary instinct lost by urban men. To stalk an animal, just you and the wild, and follow it silently until you hunt it; to feel the strength of your unknown skills and the potential of your survival efforts immediately showing… that’s a bit of a mystic experience. Extreme situations say a lot about a person.

I never thought hunting had a mystic side that would make me feel alive. That it would open my eyes to a world of mysteries I had never paid attention to and discoveries worth finding out.

Bob often enjoyed saying that he was a social dropout; a doomthinker; a pain in the ass. But to me he was outstanding in a crowd; wildly different; wildly delicious; wildly unique. Invisible bruises on his skin spoke for the many times he had been misunderstood. He had the scent of extravagance about him and I loved his charming wackiness. In fact, I liked it to the point that sometimes it scared the hell out of me.

- Len. Come closer. Stay quiet. Look at that–he said-.

He pointed at a pigeon that was pecking on the ground right in front of us. I approached him. He gave me the rifle and whispered softly:

- All yours, baby.

That was rather different than aiming and shooting at the furry rabbit.

- I can’t, Bob. I’m sorry. I can’t do this. –I said, putting the rifle down-

He took the rifle from my hands. I saw in slow motion how the pigeon was shot in the head. A cloud made of small feathers blew up in the air as it flipped over to collapse violently on the ground, leaving a small trace of blood.

- I’m sorry, Bob. I couldn’t do that.
- Are you okay, babe? –he asked-
- No, I’m not. I have disappointed you –I answered, looking down-
- Come on, Len. You could never disappoint me, no matter how hard you tried. –he said smiling, as he put the pigeon into his pouch-.

We walked for almost two hours into the depths of the forest, until we arrived to the pool of a small river fall surrounded by rows of wild flowers that looked like a multicolour psychedelic dream.

For some seconds I thought we would be passionately shagging on the flowers or into the freezing cold water, to run the risk of drowning. That would have added some kinkiness and fun.
But no. We shyly sat by the bank and dipped our feet into the water instead, as he started throwing pebbles in the river.

- How long we have known each other, Len? –asked Bob, seriously-
- Three months, I think.
- I’m happy of what we have.

- You’re happy of what we have…? -I said, expecting a further explanation-
- A very good friendship.
- Ah, ok.
-I said, hiding my puzzlement-.

Ah, the burning passion! Do friends shag? Do they fuck hard in elevators and forests?

After the hunting, we walked back to the camp, where we had some ham sandwiches before we packed our things to go back to town.

- What are you going to do with the pigeon? –I asked-
- I’ll cook a wonderful stew and have lunch with you -he laughed-
- Cool rhyme. But I have one condition: take it to the vet before you cook it. Just in case it had the bird pest.
- Hahahahaha, you mean the bird flu, perhaps?

- I mean anything!

Back in the streets of Grytviken, we went for a coffee at the Main Alley.

- Gotta tellya something, Len: I won’t be around for a few days. I’m flyin’ to Orsinia next week.
- Oh. Where to?
- Washingdown City. I’m building a huge parking lot and back-up facilities. I have a great deal of work to do there.
- Oh. And how long are you going to be out?
- Two weeks, I think. Maybe more.
- Ok.

- I’m not gonna see her, if you’re wondering.

That really annoyed me.

- No, Bob. I’m not fucking wondering. I am sick to the back teeth. You can see whomever you want in Orsinia. That’s none of my business, as far as I’ve been told.
- You don’t have to go telling everybody, ok?

I looked in front of me and saw a big group of homeless guys gathering around us. One of them -who appeared to be the boss-, was listening carefully to our conversation. Bob sat beside him on the sidewalk and pointing at the hat filled with coins on the floor, asked him:

- How much have you earned today, dude?
- The day is not over yet. I still can make as much as 30G every half hour.
- Dang! I may consider coming over here to sit beside you and put my hat on the floor as well, if you don’t object!
- I won’t object, brother! Be my guest!
- Thanks! Can I take a snapshot of you for my collection?
- Of course you can. But let me ask you something first: are you Orsinian?
- No. I’m Zewlander.
- And you, little lady?
–the homeless asked me-
- I was born on this island-I said-
- Excellent. Fuck Orsinia then! I hate it! –he said, lifting his left fist-
- Yeah, me too –said Bob, lifting his left fist as well-.
- So how come you talk like a fucking Orsinian imperialist, mate? –asked the beggar pointing at Bob’s face-. Why do you say stuff like “dude”, “gotta tellya”, “parking lot”, “gonna be”, “dang”? Those words should never be in the vocabulary of an anti-Orsinian activist.
- Because he has an Orsinian girlfriend, and everything sticks!
-I shouted at Bob-
- That’s not true! –Bob shouted back at me-
- You still have her in the back of your mind! You even wear those boxers with the Orsinian flag that she gave you!!!
- Pack it in!

All the beggars started guffawing. The roar of laughters could be heard for miles around. I should have never unveiled the secret of Bob's Orsinian boxers to the hostile audience. I reckon I was very nasty there.

- Hey! Love and peace, guys! –said the homeless guy-
- That’s ok, MATE. –said Bob with a low voice and very annoyed-.

Bob faced me and said:

- Tell me something Len: Once and for all, are we dating? –he asked me-
- You tell me! That’s your sensitive point, not mine! Have you ever noticed that I always let you do the phoning, just in case you felt under pressure? And that I’m always available for you whenever you call me?

He didn’t answer. The homeless guy approached me and asked:

- He does that???
- Yeah, he does that! He phones me up to go out and I follow him like a lost puppy! Yet he goes on about the same old tune: “I-don’t-want-a-relationship”.
- Hmm. May I suggest you try another one? There’s plenty of fish in the sea, missy! Just have a look!
–he said, pointing at his colleagues, who were not missing a word-.

Some waved hello. Some others took their hats off and smiled at me. I waved and smiled back.

- I appreciate your advice and the offer, guys, but I’m not looking for a relationship either. I’m just sick and tired of Orsinia popping up everywhere. That’s all.

Bob was freaking out.

- Len, there’s no need to go telling everyone about the two of us! –he said, pointing at the homeless guys-.
- The two of us? How funny is that! It’s ok, Bob, I’ve had it! I’ll only hang around or whatever the hell you want to do with me, on an equal basis. So I may not be available next time you phone me up. You have been warned –I said, pointing at him with my threatening finger-

I took my backpack and walked towards the rack behind the bus stop, where my bike should be locked, but I couldn’t find it. “Shit! Stolen!” I knew the gang of homeless guys had taken it.

- Just 5 G missy! Special offer! –said one of the homeless guys, who appeared from out of the blue, proudly showing my bike-
- 5G??? MY ARSE!!! GIVE ME BACK MY BIKE OR YOU’RE LOSING YOUR BALLS!!! LET’S SEE HOW YOU LIKE THEM UP YOUR ASS!!!

The homeless boss told his friend to give it back to me for free on the spot. I bowed to thank him.

- Wow, what a character! –he said -
- Yeah, I know. Spanish and Italian descent; and born here –answered Bob laughing-
- Gosh, what an explosive mixture, mate. Do you like her?
- Yes. A lot.
- So what’s the problem with the missy? Or is it you? Are you afraid, ho hum or just taking your time? Gals sometimes need to be told nice stuff. But that doesn’t mean you have to say the “L” word. Take care, mate. That one is a bit wild for a cold Zeewlander like you.
- Sure. Thanks for the advice.

- Oh, no thanks. That will cost you 50G.
- No way!
- I don’t give advice for free, mate. This is a noble art - he said, extending his hand-

Bob nodded and gave him the 50G. He probably assumed it was my bike’s ransom, so he paid happy. He and the homeless guy stood there looking at me. I had heard enough. I started pedalling, as I heard Bob shout:

- Let me cycle home with you, Len!
- Too late, dude! Give my regards to the Orsinians! Call me when you make up your mind, if it ever happens! BON VOYAGE! –I shouted back as I waved goodbye-


Goodnight to you, wherever you are.




All I really want (Alanis Morissette)

12 comments:

Grass said...

Hi sis!

The ending was quite unexpected.. I thought you were gonna finish the blog with ultra mushy words of L and stuffs.. hehe And I have to agree with the homeless chaps, you were wild! hahaha! Jesus, what a temper, I didn't know you have Spanish and Italian descent.. :-) What a combination indeed! :-)

As for Orsinia, I have now a good idea where it is.. not hard to spot on the map..big country :-) Imperialist too, i have to agree! :-)


xxx Grass

p.s. Thank you for posting the video clip. I love Alanis especially her first album "jagged pill"..:-)

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Grassy!

What makes you think that his is the end of the story? lol

As you can see, Bob is not the kind to say mushy words, and I am a little afraid of using them with him -at least for the moment-, but let's wait until he comes back from his trip to Orsinia, and see what happens.

Yes, I have Spanish and Italian blood, hence the temper, lool. Anyway, I certify I'm completely harmless (except when someone steals my bike and tries to resell it to me!).

I knew that a clever girl like you would soon spot Orsinia in the map. Great country and great people (my 2 best friends are from Dallas and L.A. and I had a lovely bf from NY) though I don't agree at all with their role in international politics. If I were Orsinian I would vote for Obama, I think! Or maybe for the homeless dude, hahahaha.

Nice to hear you loved Alanis M.'s video. The words of this song explain very well what it's all about, lol.

XXX. Leni.

s said...

What?? you just left him like that?! wow, i didnt see that coming at all. You are right tho, all the talk about his ex must drive you crazy. Whats up with that anyway? This sucker needs to open his eyes and see whats right in front of him. He doesnt even have to bend to pick it of the floor, because its right there. Some guys ... geez ...

And now you will never know the taste of a SIY pigeon (Shoot It Yourself :P). Atleast you werent crying at the end, although i have a feeling it might be a close call.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Mocky! Just like Grass, you expected the romantic happy end! Lol I think there will be more posts to go yet!

No I didn't leave him, lol. I like him too much!

But the ball is on his roof now; the only thing is that he will have to move his ass and work harder on it! For the moment he will be in Orsinia for a few days; we'll see if he makes his moves from there or not. I hope to hear from him again.

What really drives me crazy, is not the talk about his ex, but his blurred ideas and the uneven situation. Jeez... you're right, some guys just go psychowank freaking out about nonexistent relationships yet want to have it all.

What is the taste of a SIY pigeon like? :D. Tell me. It must be quite something!

No, I wasn't crying at the end -rather pissed off-. But, of course, a little sad. Let's wait and see what happens.

XXX. Len.

PS.- Mocky, right? I know. LOL.

Max said...

WOOHOOO!!! THAT’S COOOOL!!! Gone at last!

So you’re done with that one, Leni? I hope he stays for the rest of his life in Orsinia, hiding in the arms of his ex. But dear friends… this means GREEN LIGHT to Max the Great!!! I won’t miss this chance.

Dear Grass, you see, things don’t end always the romantic way… great for me!

tom909 said...

Good story Leni, and looking forward to the sequal. What you should do is when he comes back, wanting you, play him along and then tell him you are not interested.

Leni Qinan said...

Hey Tom! It's great to see you back here :)

Thanks for the advice, hahaha. You are evil! Don't you think that he deserves another chance at least? I'll have it in mind anyway, but if his past continues to pester him... then I'll follow your advice. And I'm afraid I'll have to put up with Max, hahaha.

At the moment Bob is very quiet, but let's wait and see what he does when he comes back from Orsinia. ;)

XXX. Leni.

Grass said...

Dear Max:

You've heard it from Leni, she's going to put up with you if Bob's past is still biting his ass..LOL (were those your exact words Leni? *giggles*)

Green light for you indeed but only if our dearest Leni agree! Sorry Max, you're gonna have to wait until Bob the Great come back.. >:)


Cheers!


Grass

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Grass,

I think my exact words to Tom were "if his past continues to pester him... then I'll follow your advice. And I'm afraid I'll have to put up with Max"

No green light for Max yet, sis, as you pointed out ... we'll have to wait until Bob the Great comeback, lol.

XXX. Leni.

Fernando said...

Oh, my god, Italian and Spanish mixture.... If I were Bob I would be looking for a hospital.... even for a Police Station...

Un beso, Leni.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Fernan!

Yes, Italian and Spanish mixture, that's me. I'm not short of fire, as you can see!

Maybe it's too strong for a cold Zeewlander? In RL/VL I've had quite a few Northern bfs and none of them has ever complained, so I think there's no need to look for the hospital or the Police Station (jeez! I'm not that dangerous, lol).

Otro beso. Leni.

max said...

Dear Grass,

I heard it from Leni, that’s right. I'm thinking of having a word with the Orsinian gal, she could be of help to wipe him off!
Wait until Bob the Great comes back from Orsinia? No problem Grass… I’m patient. :P

Goodday! :)