SURREAL ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

No more Miss Nice Girl

It was one of these Mondays with Big Cheese freaking out. The phone wouldn’t stop going. People were interrupting all the time and running like headless chickens all over. My cell phone went. It was Bob. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. The phone on my desk went. It was Bob again.

- Sorry, I’m in the middle of something right now. –I said-
- Ok. Call me when you finish. I need to speek to you, Len.
- Sure. I will.

Uh oh! Should I expect something serious? Was the worse yet to come? I was dying to speak to him, but God knows what that serious “I-need-to-speak-to-you” meant; I had a feeling that it was not going to be my favourite subject; and I was indeed late for a meeting. I took my notepad and rushed to the corridor, stamping with my heels, when I heard a seductive masculine voice saying:

- Wow! Leni… long time no see!

I turned back and I almost fell backwards when I saw who it was.

- Ooooh! Max! Maxi! Maximilian Brantsch! I can’t believe it! Nice to see you after… eight years? What are you doing here? –I asked-
- A business meeting with one of your colleagues. Jeez, Leni! Look at yourself! You look simply gorgeous!
- Thanks Max. You’re not bad either!

- And what are you doing here? –he asked me-
- I work for the GM’s Office. Boring protocol stuff.
- Wow, you’re always the top, wherever you go, eh?
- Nah! That’s tiresome stuff. Nobody notices what I do, except when things go wrong!
- Oh, don’t be so modest!


Max and I dated at college. He was a handsome, ironic as hell, clever as can be, cold as ice alpha male from Zantland.

We were very much in love in our student days; but after some ups and downs, we broke up, lost track and never heard from each other anymore. And there he was: in his blue jacket and tie, handsome and elegant as ever.

I stared at him.

- Oh man, this is great! I can’t believe you’re here! –I said-
- Me neither! Leni, I must be going now but I’d love to meet up and talk. Excuse me if I sound pushy, but are you available for lunch? –he asked, giving me his business card, including his mobile number-.
- Of course, Maxi! And you don’t sound pushy at all. I’d love to have lunch together.
- Can I pick you up at… say one o’clock here?
- Sure!


Max was right there at the agreed time. Prompt like a Swiss watch; typical Zantlander. If you ever meet up with me, you should know that I’m never on time. Unforseen circumstances will always make me be 5-10-15 minutes late; but some think waiting for me is worth the effort.

Max waited patiently for 20 minutes until I left the ladies’ room, absolutely radiating.

- Sorry for being late, Max. My meeting has just finished -((which was false, but a good excuse))-
- It was worth waiting!
- Aww thanks! –I said, flattered-.

Max and I had lunch at a super posh French restaurant he had chosen especially for the occasion. We ordered a delicious vichysoisse and canard à l’orange. He asked for a bottle of their best Taittinger: raised his cup; looked at me right between the eyes and said:

- This toast is for you, sweety. And for the good old times. Cheers!
- Cheers!

I smiled at him; the good old times. I could see what was coming. I thought back and remembered when we were at the Faculty. It was nice, but he was way too determined and demanding for my taste. And he hadn’t changed a bit.

- Are you engaged, Leni? Married, perhaps?

There he was, giving me the third degree; and there I was, acting like a rat in a trap.

- I see you haven’t changed a bit, Maxi. You’re still so inquisitive. The answers to your questions are no and no. I expect this satisfies your unsatiable curiosity. –I said-.
- It does. Yet there’s something I don’t understand. What happens to the South Sandwich guys? Are they blind? Or maybe are you too picky about them? –he said, smiling a hyper-super-mega smile-
- Mishmash. What about you? –I asked, smiling back-
- Nobody loves me, honey. I’m afraid I work too much and there’s no time left for romance –he laughed-

We laughed and drank for the old times.

- Do you need to go back to work in the afternoon? –asked Max-
- Not really, I was planning to work at home in my laptop.
- That sounds great; now let me be a little naughty, baby: how about having a nap together? Just like in the old times?


We used to do that in the past. But we didn’t sleep much. I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. I could see his little game.

- I won’t touch you. –he said -
- Then why do you want to have a nap with me? –I asked-
- Because I need some love and care. I need to be looked after.
- By me.
- By you, yes.


My cell phone went. My heart skipped a beat. It was Bob again.

- Sorry Bob, I’m having lunch right now. –I said -.
- I see. Ok, Len. Call me when you’re done, please. I need to speak to you.
- I will.


Max pretended he was not listening. But he was.

- Who the hell is that Bob?
- Someone from the office.
-((false again))-
- Is he bugging you?
- Not at all.
- He sounds a little pushy.
- No, he’s not.


So we went to Max’s hotel, and I began wondering what the hell I was doing there. I started squeezing my brains trying to find the politest way to tell him I had to go. But my mouth went dry and I found myself stuck in his Palace Hotel Suite.

- Can I offer you a drink, honey? –he asked-
- A Coke will do.
- Come on. A soft drink?
- You know I don’t drink, Max. I’ll have that Coke.


We sat on a huge sofa. I was on one end; he made his move and approached me.

- So tell me, Max. What have you been doing all these years?

He told me about his professional life. He was a successful lawyer; with successful achievements; successful earnings; successful targets. Successful anything.

I started feeling successful drowsiness induction. I was up at 6AM every morning and Max’s ego was certainly exhausting. As he kept on talking, my eyelids were getting so heavy that I fell asleep slowly and softly. Hard to believe, but true. I woke up at the sound of a kiss in my neck. That was scary!

- Max. –I said-
- Yeah, what?
- Take it easy, ok?


He stepped back, with his hands up, pretending he was not going to touch me, as he had said before. But not for very long. He sat beside me, put his arms around me and asked:

- Baby, don’t you feel like …
- Hm… I… I haven’t shaved.


That was false too, but I had to try; it works sometimes.

- I don’t object. I don’t object at all –he said-.

It was gonna be tougher than I expected.

- Leni, wouldn’t you like to…
- I have no condoms.
– I said immediately -
- How come? You always took the pill! And I am clean! You know that! –he cried in desperation-
- Oh no, I don’t know that now! Unless you haven’t shagged anyone after me, which I suppose is not true. And for your info, I’m not taking the pill. I don’t have a regular partner now.

I was one-nil up.

- What the fuck! Let’s go get a box of condoms at the drugstore. –he said-

I locked myself in the bathroom to think for some seconds what I should do. When I went back to the suite, Max was waiting for me with a condom in his hand.

- Hey baby, look at this! I could find a Mate in my toilet bag. Are you up for a game of shag tag?

I had to leave the hotel, whatever it took, before he would take his pants off. He wouldn’t take a “no” for an answer even if I talked to him until I was blue in the face. Suddenly, before I could say anything, my cell phone went. It was Bob again. The whole situation was making me very nervous.

- I can’t speak right now Bob. I’ll call you later. –I said-
- It’s late here Len. I’m terribly tired. I need to go to bed.
- What’s your time?
- Ten in the evening. I have got horrible jet lag and I need some rest.
- I’m sorry but I can’t speak now. I’ll call you tomorrow.
- I assume the idea of talking to me doesn’t make you very happy. Am I right?
- Shit! I am telling you I can’t speak right now!
–I said to Bob-

Max snatched the cell phone from me and shouted at Bob on the phone:

- Can help you, mate? What is it you want? Maybe you don't know this, but I’m afraid you’re breaking into something important.

I couldn’t believe what was happening there.

- Hey! Are you deaf or something? She said she can’t speak to you, wanker! So stop fucking already, ok? –said Max-.

He put the cell phone down and gave it back to me. I was so furious.

- Are you crazy? Why have you done that? Put your Mate back into your toilet bag! We’re not doing anything! We will never do anything! That’s that! –I shouted at him-

I slammed the door, turned my cell phone off and dashed out of the room.
Give me a break!!!

Goodnight to you, wherever you are.



"Shame for you" (Lily Alen)

19 comments:

s said...

OMG what a prick! Sure hes your ex lover, but geez ... how pushy can a guy be? Not much more than he is, im sure.

Being a nice girl is usually a good thing, but im glad you stood up for yourself and flipped him the bird!
And to think what Bob is thinking right now ...

ugh

Fernando said...

Great mischief, Leni.....

I ask myself the same thing.

What´s tinking Bob right now? And you??

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Mocky,

You're right. My experience tells me that exs sometimes think that -on account of the good old times- they have some advantages with respect to others and they feel allowed to be pushy. I'm sure you know about this too.

Thanks for saying I've been nice but finally flipped him the bird -lol, I had to look up for this expression. I am learning a lot of English with you!-. But I must say it was hard -generally very hard for me to say NO-.

I am very worried about what Bob might be thinking. No news yet, and the waiting is killing me. I'll let you know about it!

XXX
Len.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Captain!

Mischief?? Comeon, I have been good this time! But Max took advantage of our old relationship.

As I said to Mocky before... I'm really worried for what Bob must be thinking right now.

What am I thinking right now? That's a good question.

Just wait and see. You will know what I am thinking very soon. :))

Big kiss.

max said...

Hiya Leni and all!

I must admit I feel a strong empathy for that Max guy. After all, we both have the same name and I am Zantlander as well... (what a coincidence).

Guys, I'm afraid you're missing the point: Bob had plenty of chances, but he didn't take a single one. So tough shit! Max is only looking after number one! What's wrong with that?

So Leni, the sooner you realise Bob is not the only guy on Earth, the better for you. You ought to know, honey.

Big kiss.

Grass said...

Hello Leni!

That was tough!... having to deal with your ex who thought he can easily have a pass with you for old time's sake...What a lousy excuse to get shagged. After all, it's been 8 years, what did Max expect? What a gentleman!*sarcastic*

BTW, I thought for a sec that you were talking of the same Max who wanted to slap my butt for being naughty. LOL (peace Max!)

I hope you're doing okay though. Why don't you call Bob and explain?

Take care sis! And keep your cool :-)
xxx Grass

Leni Qinan said...

Hi sis!

Hahahah I certify some exs do these things, Grass! Not only Max!

When it comes to shag... generally speaking, I'm afraid chivalry has died loooong ago!

I'm doing okay, but a bit pissed off with Bob too. I don't know exactly where we are and I'd like him to give me a clue, but to be honest I am a bit confused about that one. I think he should move his ass if he is interested, don't you think so?

You thought for a sec that I was talking of the same Max who wanted to slap your butt for being naughty??

Ask him. He'll be more than happy to answer you, I bet. (But take care, or he will threaten to slap your butt again! LOL)

XXX.Leni.

PS.-Be good, sis. Some surprises are yet to come :))

sedi said...

Well I feel somehow sorry for Bob, on the other hand I am really agree with Max, he had 100000 of different oportunities hehehe one need to be fast, clever and react properly..... welll like nature !!! NAture is wise !!1

Good story,

Leni, do you still llike Max ? jejejejeejj

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Sedi! Nice to see you again! :))

Well, it seems there are two sides here: those who support Bob (the cold Zeewlander) and those who support Max (the pushy Zantlander). And it's very apparent whose side are you on, hahahaha.

Do you really think only the fast and clever will win? Max already had his chance some time ago and it didn't work. Anyway, who knows what may happen this time.

Do I still like him? Hm... what do you think? LOL.

Maybe you may get a clue about this in the next story.

Big XXX.

Grass said...

Yikes.. NO way I'm asking Max that question LOL I would hate to use my whip on the same person again!! LOL

Yes, sis, I think it's about time Bob makes a move. But if he was hurt from the ugly call from Max, maybe you should call him up and tell him what really happened.. He could be thinking of million bad things at the moment, and why he shouldn't call you up anymore. Hence, the delay of phone calls from him. Guys are like that sometimes. It takes time to figure out what to do when it concerns girls. We are the walking jigsaw puzzles for them and they're as afraid of getting hurt as we are. That's human instinct. At least, it's what I think so. So, call him up just to say hello, ask him how he'd been and explain who Max is. After all, Bob is still your friend :-).. or lover?


xxx Grass *The hopeless romantic whip slasher*

Leni Qinan said...

Hi dear whip slasher sis! *smiles*

Oki... I'm gonna answer your question: yes, the guy that wanted to slap your butt for being naughty and Max the opportunist are the same and one person! and you can slash your whip on him as much as you want, cos i really don't care, hahahahaah!

Good to hear you agree with me: Bob must make a move asap. I would have done that move myself, but that would have scared him and maybe hurt his masculine pride. But... what if he doesn't want to make a move??? That would put me in a very awkward position, don't you think so?. After all... he said he didn't want to have a relationship, remember?

I have no doubt he is hurt and schocked by Max's call. It makes me feel bad. And i bet he must be thinking horrible things, but I'll take my time to fix it (evil Leni spoke). LOL.

You're right when you say guys find it hard to understand girls. I reckon -you should too- that it's not easy sometimes. On both sides there's often fear of rejection, clumsiness, haste, shyness... too many emotions and feelings that may spoil everything. But I'm sure you'll agree with me that trying to understand each other is worth the effort.
It won't be a bed of roses, of course, but it's very romantic and emotional -I am an incurable romantic too, btw, lol-

I have to make peace with Bob, sis, you're right, or I'll die of sadness and maybe he will too -dunno!-. After all he is my friend -hm, do friends shag?- or lover?- :))

XXX. Leni.

Grass said...

Friends shag and they become lovers..LOL I don't know sis, I haven't really done it but some of the people I know did. :-)

Cheer up sis! I think taking your time is also a wise decision. Bob is probably too angry at the moment and may not listen to reason. Or he is probably secretly plotting murder (LOL, beware Max! Riffles are more dangerous than my whip!)

I agree with you, being in a relationship is not always bed of roses (that's got thorns) but it's worth fighting for indeed especially if you've met the person who, this is mushy, complete you in a way. :-)

Take care sis! Hope you make up with Bob real soon!


xxx Grass

p.s. Now that I know who Max really is, I'm kinda scared of him LOL

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Grass!

So friends shag and then become lovers. Hm, his might be one of the possible ways. But i really don't know if we are friends or lovers -can we consider 2 kozmik shags+night at the elevator+my flat and at the tepee as something to be remembered, or was it just a one (two) night stand?- I am a bit confused, sis. I need some advice there. I wouldnt want to build my hopes up, just in case.

Ok sis, I take your advice: I'll calm down, take some time to cool down things and try to design a strategy, but it's not easy!

Thanks a lot for your love and support, sis! That's very sweet!

xxx Leni.

PS.- Dont be scared of Max! Barking dogs never bite, lol

Grass said...

Hello! :-)

That's a difficult question which I'm afraid only "Bob and you" can answer correctly. But the mere fact that he's kept you waiting this long, and told you that he wasn't committing on anything serious, and yet treats you really special (kozmic shag and all)tell that he's probably as confused as you are. Or probably power playing with you. After all, you are beautiful and smart. Guys naturally would feel threaten by that. You are almost perfect! And perfect girls are what most men fear of having and then, losing. What you are having now with Bob is a power play, battle of sexes.

Did he look totally honest to you when he said he only wanted to be friends with you? If he was, why the mixed signals? Why the special treatment? I'm sure you're more than just a friend for him. Why bother calling you a lot if he doesn't care? You are important to him, that's what matters for now. It might take time and I guess, all you can do is wait and keep him as a friend by keeping the communication open. :-)

Sis, you aren't the type guys will get over with too easily..Look at Max. He still desires you. He still cares by hating Bob and by commenting on here (rather frequently) about Bob being not the only guy in the world, etc. :-)

I guess it's right not to get your hopes too high. But then, you have plans right? You have fire, use it my dear *winks* Win the battle. :-)


xxx Grass

Leni Qinan said...

Awww sis, you're so nice! Thank you for your comment, you brightened my day!

I wouldn't have explained it better: you know I am very confused by the things he does, and I guess he is too!

I am very far from being perfect! Though I really appreciate the compliment (you're very nice, sis, thanks!).

Yes, he sounded totally honest when he said he didn't want a relationship -and I felt VERY embarrassed- but some things seem to be very contradictory and controversial. I take your advice and will try to be patient.

And about Max: Hahahaha, I can deal with that one! I know him very well, lol.
I have important plans, yes, and I don't give up easily (I am a fighter!). Wait and see!

Big hug & kiss. Leni.

max said...

My dear Grass,
There is nothing to be afraid of. I am harmless, hahaha. (This is said to you. Not to Bob, ok?). And I am not afraid of him. Whatever he must be planning now. I am Max the Great! :)
Nevertheless, it is my duty to advise you not to become too cheeky, ok? or I'll slap your butt! LOL.
Kiss -if you allow me to- :)

Sedi,
Thanks, man. I can see you get my point -nice to see there are still wise and logical thinking people!-
Cheers!

Grass said...

Max! *exasperated tone* Enough of the "... slap your butt" threat already, this doesn't work really! (not meant to rhyme, sis!) :P And I am cheeky by nature so what I say here is basically what I am, a smart ass! LOL So deal with it, okay? :P

Kiss for me? LOL I am laughing here like a hyena,heck I almost fell off my chair.

Try kissing me and you'll find yourself either madlyintoxicated or dead. I have deadly kisses.. and a basilisk stare.. so beware! >:) Oh did I mention that I have a whip too? >:)


Grass, the Whip Slasher

Grass said...

Hello sis! I meant what I said about you :-) I can say that based on the way you've written your short stories and the diary (which I finished reading 2 weeks ago), your blogs here and the way you've connected to your readers.. :-) keep that up! :-)

I knew you have plans, LOL.. I am this sure that you are a fighter. :-)

Take care sis! I'll be gone for a few days for some field works. I'll be back soon! :-)


xxx Grass (Leni's angel and Max's nemesis, LOL)

Leni Qinan said...

Oh jeeez Grass!
I am so happy to hear that you have read the diary! and that you enjoy reading! WOW i feel soooo happy to hear that! THANK YOU, I really appreciate! That's the best thing you could say to me (my flattery quota for the year!, hahahaha)

I will do my best to continue amusing and entertaining my readership. It's my only purpose as a blogger and a writer. And it makes me feel sooooo happy to get your feedback! My readership is the main reason to continue writing and the source of my strength and enthusiasm. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

I am a fierce fighter, yes and there's a whole battery of plans and stories coming on very soon, written with all my love for you readers.

Be good, take care in those field works -take your whip with you just in case- and come back soon in one piece! We'll be missing you!

XXX. Leni.