SURREAL ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Misplaced redundancies

It was already 4:00 AM, but I was wide awake and very agitated. The lights were off in the studio. I needed to occupy my restless mind as soon as possible; otherwise I would be going around the bend. I sat at Bob’s desk and switched his computer on to check my e-mails. That would keep me busy for a while and help me fill some time until I would be counting sheep.

I bet you have received these funny ‘Buy Viagra’, ‘You won the lottery’ or ‘Penis enlargement’ messages, which –apart from pretending to be the miracle cure to some of the most serious problems of human race- may gather your e-mail address to spam it endlessly; fill your monitor with unwanted banners and home pages, or leave a damaging trace inside your hard drive -in the form of a virus- if you ever fell in the trap of opening them (which I assume you never did, clever people).

Well, I had that same unpleasant feeling when I checked my inbox that night. ‘Shitty spam’ –I thought-. Some mysterious guy called Edward I. Davies, who I didn’t know, was suspiciously offering me the chance of my life: “Become a real writer. Publish your own paperbacks and e-books” said the subject of his messages. I had three e-mails from him. I deleted them unopened.

Something very weird happened then: the three emails re-appeared immediately in the monitor, under the subject: “Open your incoming messages, silly, this is not a virus!”. I moved backwards, very astonished. Again, I deleted them unopened. Right after that, I got three more e-mails whose title read: “I told you to open my e-mails. What are you waiting for?”. I felt I was definitely stoned by the time-delayed effects of Mr. Cohol’s blow.

I switched the computer off, but it would be still on. That was strange indeed; anyway, after my supernatural and alien visits, nothing could surprise me. I uselessly tried again and again to turn the damned thing off, but the monitor would stubbornly project its ghostly light on my face. I decided to unplug the computer.

- Hey, don’t you dare to do that! –said a low voice from the speakers, with a beautiful Burdish accent-.

I was rooted to the spot; I felt like the 2008' version of the blonde little girl in the film ‘Poltergeist’ experiencing unwanted online contacts with the afterlife. And that was way too scary. I desperately wanted to go downstairs, back to Bob’s bed and be into Bob’s arms.

- Stay where you are, child. I won’t bite you. Calm down. –said the voice, reassuringly-
- Who are you and what is it you want? –I asked, in a small whimper-
- A common friend asked me to contact you in order to ascertain whether your writing is publishable or not. You know whom I’m talking about. I’d be happy if you e-mailed me something to read. I need to make sure you don’t write crappy stuff –he giggled -

Me? Crappy stuff, huh? Hellgirl! That was the difficult editor guy she mentioned! Would the horror never cease?

- What have you done to deserve Hell’s punishment, Edward? –I asked, cheekily-

And then, there was silence.

- Sorry? –he asked arrogantly, though he heard me perfectly well-
- Oh, nothing. –I said, realising I had gone a bit too far-
- I don’t mean to be rude, Leni, but I’m afraid that’s none of your business. And by the way, you can call me Ed. –he said coldly-.

How embarrassing. It served me well for being a snoop.

- I’m sorry about that, Ed. So… what is it you want? –I asked-
- E-mail me something of yours. Whatever you consider your best work. I heard you’re not bad. If that’s true, I may call you to meet up at my office. I have your cellphone number.

It looked like my e-mail address and my cellphone number were for public release and available to anyone in Hell. It became pretty clear to me that computer safety and data protection meant nothing there.

- Ed. I’m not at home now. I’ve had a small accident yesterday and I’m staying at a friend’s place. So it may take me a couple of days to email you my stuff –I said-
- Oh, no worries. Hm. I hope it’s not serious. –he said-
- No, I was hit unintentionally yesterday, but it’s getting better.
- You were hit unintentionally? –he asked-
- It’s a long story. I hope not to scare you with my bruised face when we meet.
- Well, I’m sorry to hear that your face is bruised. I really hope you get well soon.
- Thanks.

Then, the monitor shut off and the computer stopped making any noise. I quickly went downstairs; I’d had more than enough of the occult for the day.

Bob was deeply asleep. I looked at him carefully. I wished I could keep the beauty of that moment fresh in my memory: the full moon was spreading its pale light all over the bedroom: on the bed; on his chest; on his arms; on his sweet face.

I took my nightie and string off and got into bed right beside him. I spooned up against his back and reached out to stroke his hair. I pressed up against him. I needed to feel his body; to sniff his softly scented skin.

He turned round in his sleep. I watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest under the sheets. His warm breath tickled my neck softly; calmly; rhythmically. I snuggled into his arms and kissed him. I knew I was going to wake him up, but I just couldn’t help it. I really needed a nice cuddle.

- Hey gypsy. –he whispered, smiling and gave me a tiny Eskimo kiss-.
- Hey hobo. –I said, smiling back-. Sorry for waking you up.
- It’s okay, babe. Who wouldn’t like to be woken up like this? Mmmm… you’re all naked. Aren't you cold?
- Yes I am. A lot.


He pulled me closer to him and held me tight. That unavoidably led us to intense petting: I got on top of him; slowly pressed my body against his and pulled his pants down.

- You’re such a baby slut. –he said, laughing-

He sat up to take his pj off. I smiled back confidently and stradled him, my legs clamped around his waist and my arms holding him as tight as I could. He soon thrusted into me, seized with desire. I felt the overwhelming urge to pull him into me harder and harder, more violently with every thrust. My body was exploding.

- Don’t stop -I said breathlessly-

I moaned with intense pleasure as powerful wavegasms started running through me with violence.

- I love you, babe. –he whispered just a few seconds later, when he felt them too-

Still panting and lost in sensual bliss, we both collapsed on the bed.

I couldn’t help remembering Hellgirl’s words. I had the feeling that she was right: some guys can be as honest as the day is long and still tell you how much they love you only when you’re naked beside them with their paws on your buttocks. Yet you won't hear these words when you need them most. Such is life.

Bob fell asleep almost immediately. The shag was great, like it always was and I was shattered. But I could’t sleep a wink for the rest of the night.






"I fell out of heaven, to be with you in hell ..."

"Lust" (The Raveonettes)

16 comments:

Grass said...

The ending is kinda sad but I'm afraid there's a ring of truth in it too.. Very few guys would be there for you during the difficult times, hence, my blog on "Autopsy of the spoiled boyfriend...." but, I hope it's not the case with Bob or I'll definitely whip his ass for you should he turn out to be an A-hole! >:D

I'm curious about the editor.. he kinda softened up a bit when he learned about your bruises from the unfortunate circumstance with Mr. Al Cohol (i'm still amused at the name, btw).. I wonder why... ;-) I mean, he must have done something nasty against Hellgirl to have deserved the punishment.. Did hell soften him up?;-)

As for spam mails, i get those too.. which is amazing coz i'm a girl and young and definitely not in need viagra or penis enhancement capsules whatever..LOL Sheeesh.


xxx Grass

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Grass!

I think the ending is rather more the thought that this relationship (relationship?) that was unwanted from one side (Bob) but very much desired from the other (me) doesn't stop growing, but there are a few uncertainties (like the feeling that someone is giving too much -so this is a little bit uneven- and on the other side, the fear of not knowing very well where we are there). Dunno if you ever had this feeling; I have. And believe me, it's like you were in a second place.

And, about being told by someone who loves you at these very moments, lol, that's quite usual -I've been there too, hahahaha-.

The thing is that some are givers and some are takers. It's hard to reach the balance. Anyways, I'm really stubborn and I hope I'll be able to do something about this soon.

The editor, yes, another character -there are a few ones there already-. He will have an important role in this story, as you shall read soon. Of course he did something nasty (otherwise he wouldn't be encaged by Hellgirl), lol.

Sure, you dont need Viagra, sis, but viruses don't know that! hahah.

((I'm late fer work! -sorry I took this from Mocky, I really like this expression))

XXX.

s said...

Everytime i am amazed by about how this story (and your relationship) evolves. You are right, it is growing indeed.

So Bob only tells you he loves you when you two are naked and he had his claws on your butt, eh? To be honest, i cant remember the last time you told Bob you loved him, face to face ;) hrmm, i could be wrong, please refresh my memory. heh

Maybe you have to try to make him give more. Make him more open, but im pretty sure he is already yours, even if it may seem a bit uncertain.

You have got something important and significant here, dont let it slip out of your hands :)


btw i should be pressing charges against you for plagiarism, stealing my line, what nerve you got HAHAHA

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Mocky!

Good. Thank gawd I’m not the only one to see the strange –yet very lovely- evolution of this… “relationship”? It’s too tempting to say that word, but things are leading us right there, I think.

What was the last time I told Bob I loved him. Let me refresh your memory: right after Hellgirl’s help offer, in our lucid dream. And believe me, that was the most intense and romantic love declaration I could ever think of. The naked truth and naked feelings -seems like I'm often all naked lately, hahaha-

I’d really love to tell him more often, but don’t dare do that because of his non-commital nature, just in case it would upset him. I guess he feels he should say something when we’re both naked and he has his claws on my butt –sensitive and very pleasant moment, and it’s obvious he likes it, lol- but maybe he is shy to tell me face to face when not shagging. Is it just my imagination or are you defending him? Hahaha yes, you are, lol.

Hm… you suggest me to give more to Bob. Ok, I take your advice, but let me tell you a secret: I have a strategy. Powerful womanly wiles. Wait and see. I intend to make him react so that he lets me know clearly what he has in his heart. I don’t want to be afraid of his reaction every time I say ‘I love you’. :)

I am very stubborn and a real fighter, so I won’t let this slip out of my hands. He’s indeed important and significant for me. ;)

Hm… charges for plagiarizing your ‘I’m late fer work’??? Nerve? Moi? Comeon Mocky, you’re the NERVE CHAMPION! hahahaha do you have the copyrights? Maybe you should –your sentences are always very inspirational, you know that, hahaha. But I think we could arrange it some other way instead of fighting (I killed you twice already, remember? Challenging me again, you silly dude, lol). ;)

Leni Qinan said...

Uh oh, btw I'm late fer lunch! LOOOOOL.

Donn said...

GULP!
There must have been some subliminal messages flashing on the screen when the spam came on.
Jeez that never happens here..
could you e-mail that link?

You really 'got' me...again!

Leni Qinan said...

Hey Donn! :)

That’s very cool, nice to know that you stay tunned!

Hm… you never get this kind of spam over there? You may have to speak to the Hell’s minions then, they'll be very happy to include you in their distribution lists, haha!

I will be pleased to e-mail you the link, but I must warn you: as soon as that persistent Burdish editor knows you live in the colonies, he will be pestering you until you give him the book of your wonderful posts to publish your blog, hahaha. Don’t trust him, Donn. Take my advice. :)

Sedi said...

Really nice story and you never now, one day a person will knock your door and will ask you to publish a book, that would be lovely and never loose this nice dreams, sure one day will be possible !!!

WEll not comment so much about bobs love since I am quite lost because I have not read all your storries..... so sorry !!!

Well I am happy to see your stories flow easily from your main and this is gooodddddd !!!

Take care,

Sedi

Grass said...

hi sis.. I was reading this blog again a while ago and my boss saw the sexy picture on this!!! He thought I was looking at some porn site!!! Hahahahahah! I explained that it's my favorite blog site.. He just smiled and left.. hihi Was blushing!!


Grass

max said...

Hm… Leni… what a weird way to contact you! I am very intrigued at that editor. Take care, I don’t trust him –I can smell the danger, hahaha!-. This Hell people are quite something.

I’m still waiting for Percy’s visit. Please check with Hellgirl that he is not wearing the Orsinian boxers. They’re meant for me.

Big kiss.

PS.- Again, I have to agree with Tom: your bf (is he really?) is a bit crappy. It's fine to tell you he loves you with his hands on your butt, but he won't die for telling you more often, lol.
I would!

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Sedi!

Np, I know you’re VERY busy these days, so I really appreciate your visiting here. We’re in touch, and this is what really matters to me. :)

I hope some day I publish my books, but I must say that I am very happy with the feedback I’m getting from this blog. Of course my production is larger –there’s more stuff I have written (you’ve read it already) and I haven’t linked it to the blog yet, but I am planning to translate it in summer and put it here soon-. I may take some time to write a novel during my holidays at the seaside.

I know you’re always there encouraging me, and that’s really nice!

Take your time to read my saga with Bob –I am serializing it, as you might have seen-. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Big hug.

Leni Qinan said...

Oh dear, sis! Now I am VERY worried about you!

Your boss is a real nice guy! Indeed! I don’t want to think what would happen to me if BC saw the pics in my blog. I’m shivering at the sole thought of it-. I wonder if we could swap bosses for some days –mine is sooo demanding, he won’t give me a break!-

I am a privileged at my work –most of the people have restricted internet access, as a general policy of the company where I work. But I don’t-. Other good stuff: a good parking place. But on the other side, long hours working, some stress and pressure also, so I guess I deserve some favour. Lol.

Let me know everything is alright there, ok? If not, get me your boss on the phone and I will explain to him.

And now… go back to work, you lazy girl! ;)

Leni Qinan said...

Hey Maxi!

First and foremost: Yes, I think I can say now that Bob is my bf, in spite of my insecurities and doubts, so I think that’s settled. He cares for me a lot and we have happy and excellent sex together, so what’s the problem?

I may be the kind who needs to be told more often she is loved but, I’ll work on that. I know you would tell me. That’s very cute. :)

I’ll take care with the editor. He is also a devil’s servant, so ones never knows with these ones, hahaha.

Hold on, Max. Percy must be on his way to your place with the boxers. I hope they suit you, hahaha.

Fernando said...

Creo que todo esto ha sido un fallo de MATRIX.

Buen fin de semana, Leni. Un beso.

Leni Qinan said...

Fernando,

Para nada, me llevo fenomenal con Neo, Morfeo, Trinity y toda la peña de hackers. Me tienen el blog como una patena, limpio de virus, jajaja. ¡Les encantan mis aventuras!

Bss y buen fin de semana.

Leni Qinan said...

TRANSLATION FERNAN/LENI:

Fernan said:

I think the whole thing has been a failure of THE MATRIX.

Have a nice weekend, Leni. Kiss.


Leni said:

Fernando:

No way, I get along really well with Neo, Morpheus, Trinity and all the hacker gang. They keep my blog clean of viruses, hahah. They just love my adventures!

XXXs and have a nice weekend.