SURREAL ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Credibility and virginity

Getting fired, unfortunately, can happen to the best of us. It can even happen when it's not our fault. But that was not my case.

My case was actually going to be a fair devastating dismissal. I breathed deep, plucked up my courage and knocked on Big Cheese’s office door.

- Come in! –he said loudly-
- Good morning, sir –I said when I opened the door-
- Uh, oh, it’s Miss Q, at last! Nice to see you again. I thought you had been abducted by an alien spacecraft.

I sighed. He was so obnoxious.

- Very funny, indeed, sir. –I said, clenching my teeth-.
- Did you enjoy your holidays, dear? –he asked-
- There's no need to be ironic.
- I can be as ironic as I want, Q. You’re an excellent professional, but you’ve recently proved not to have the slightest sense of duty. I’m very disappointed. You just can’t do this in your position.
- I know I made a serious mistake, sir. I was under so much pressure that I did a very stupid thing. Please accept my apologies.
–I whispered desperately, looking down-
- That’s right, Q. You did a very very stupid thing.

He opened the top drawer to his desk and took a file out of it. He handed me the file and lit up a cigarette.

- It was nice while it lasted, but I’m afraid that this is the end of our association. –he said, leaning back on his chair-. Here’s your severance payment and the settlement documents. Read them carefully. The company is offering you a very nice compensation.

I expected this. But I never thought it would have such a powerful effect on me. Suddenly I felt as if I had been hit by a truck. I got such a shock that my mind was unable to think straight.

- I beg you to reconsider your decision, sir. –I whispered with a low voice-
- I can’t, Q. Credibility is like virginity: you lose it only once. And once you lose it… you can never get it back. Capisce?

I nodded. The company offered me a one-year total compensation, which was very generous. So I signed the papers without objection, realising there was nothing I could do to avoid being fired.

- Excellent. Thank you for being so understanding and making it easy. It’s been a pleasure working with you, Q. Good luck.

And that was all the thankyous I got for my five years of service at the Dumbass Industries.

I left his office very disheartened. His cort├Ęge of sycophants and harem of female brown nosers would immediately knock on his door to butter him up. I would soon be forgotten.

Deep feelings of disappointment and uncertainty overwhelmed me. There was a cardboard box on my desk where someone had put my personal belongings: some books and cds and a small vanity bag.

The good side of having been fired was I wouldn’t have to stand his meteorism problems, hear his heavy swearing and cursing or bear his childish funny little ways. No more inconvenient phone calls at midnight; no more being shouted at or standing Monday morning faces.

And yes, if you asked me, he looked old, fat and ugly. In spite of his draconian diet, his exclusive Armani suits and myopia operation. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig.

When I left my office, I came across the secretary in the corridor.

- I know it’s unfair, Leni. Nobody ever worked as hard as you did in this office to change things for the better. But you shouldn’t have left your job for three weeks without telling the boss you were taking three weeks off. Why did you do that? –asked the secretary-
- I was sick and tired of everything. And I knew he wouldn’t allow me to take some holidays.

We kissed goodbye.

When I went outside, I saw the guy from the Unions. He was sitting on a bench in the sun, in front of building 1, smoking a big fat cigar. I tried to leave unnoticed, but his radar spotted me carrying the cardboard box.

- Aww… dear… Big Cheese kicked yer ass, right Q? –he asked-
- That’s right, dude. –I answered-
- Well, I told ya long ago. What goes around, comes around. You have to sleep in the bed you make. He who ives by the sword, dies by the sword. You do the crime, you do the time. Everyone gets their comeuppance, Q. Don’t take it personal, please. –he said, blowing smoke rings in the air-
- I bet you must be very happy now.
- No, Q. Your dismissal doesn’t make me happy. I’m not such an evil guy. You’re a very tough worker, and I would have defended you always. But your ex-boss is a fucking piece of shit and you were one of the loyals.
- It’s very funny, indeed to hear you say this after having sued me so many times for the most stupid things!!!
- Yeah, dear, and I’m now somehow sorry for that. But that’s just the way it is. Welcome to the class struggle. Unfortunately you were on the wrong side. I was just kicking your boss’s ass. But please, don’t take it personal.

Jeez, how could I possibly not take it personal???

My nice and cosy flat; my silver BMW Series 1; my lifestyle; my future. Everything would go up in smoke.

I walked –rather sleepwalked- like a zombie towards my car, two blocks away from the Dumbass house.

And this is how I lost credibility. Virginity was already lost a few years ago.





"Five years" (David Bowie)

20 comments:

sage said...

A year's severance--this must still be a part of your fantasy tale--Lipstick on a pig, that joke took a beating in the last US presidental elections... I hope you really didn't lose your job, but if you did, I hope you did get a years serverance

Gorilla Bananas said...

It sounds like a liberation disguised as an execution.

Virginity is painless
It brings on many changes


Hmm, perhaps not.

tom909 said...

Seriously Leni, I reckon you half wish this would happen.
BTW I've finally got what you are on about when you talk about mixing reality with imagination. And I'm loving it. Just take something that really happened, and add a bit of imaginary stuff, and hey presto, my life begins to look interesting.

Nihal said...

Oh Sugar Leni,
Hmm things don't seem so good, ha?
If I'm not wrong you lost your job, huh? Yes, yes, credibility like virginity, it can only be lost once and never recovered easily. I know.
Hence, to my mind the problem is "I have full confidence in" and that is what I want, "Full confidence in you". So protect your credibility with your life because life w/out it is NOT much of a life! Be it private life or worklife, the importance goes in every arena.

So dear, be not a descending siren:)

Take care, xoxo

max said...

You know what they said in May 68, right? Virginity is an illness, get vaccined! -which you did, as I read from your story, lol-

Credibility is the same, you can never get it back, but it's not so nice to lose it, isn't it?

That boss of yours is an *ssh*le, really. I hope someday he gets what he deserves.

Take care, sweety.

hanny said...

Hey Leni,

Sorry to hear about losing your job but congrats on the severance pay. You were so valuable to them even when they had to fire you, LOL. :))

Goodluck on getting a new one!

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Sage! Nice to see you again in the blog!

A year’s severance is one of the terms and conditions of my present work contract in case I would be fired –I reckon I’m privileged, but I pay with blood, sweat and tears, so I guess I deserve it!-.

Right, I’ve read in the papers about the idiom ‘lipstick on a pig’, used by President Obama referring to the republican candidates, meaning they didn’t represent a real change. What would political campaigns be without these anecdotes? ;D

I haven’t lost my job in RL, Sage (thanks a lot for caring, I appreciate), but I’m undergoing a tough situation right now and some changes could happen. Wish me luck!

Take care!

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Mr. Bananas!

My dismissal has been a liberation somehow, but the cost was too high: my head. Anyway, I will survive, just wait and see. I’m not the kind of woman who will just sit down and cry. So I’ll get another job, to be sure. What will it be? That’s another different question.

I remember your excellent post about the lady who sold her virginity for money to get a good education. Silly me. I gave my virginity for free with all my heart and soul when I was at college. It basically brought one change to my life: I discovered wonderful sex, the joy of joys.

And still enjoying. ;)

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Tom!

To be honest, I was (am still) really fed up with Big Cheese, who is the most real character of this story (even more real than the real me!).

So now that you know me quite well, you see how I mix and twist and hide and unveil and finally get that story cocktail!

Seriously, there’s nothing particularly outstanding in a normal RL. That doesn’t mean my life is not interesting. There might be some funny bits sometimes, but I prefer to work hard on my imagination cocktails and entertain my readerships (I hope).

So you better start flying in that hot air balloon to the land of dreams where the Queen of Hearts will welcome you with a psychedelic steaming drink. No, I’m not talking about hallucinogenic substances, but about imagination. Anything could happen then. ;)

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Nihal!

You’re very right. The concept of virginity as a prize to be won or a gift to be given on a wedding night is totally obsolete nowadays, yet whether or not people should have sex before marriage is rather a personal debate.
Credibility or believability is a deeper concept based on trustworthiness and expertise. Infinitely more important than virginity but like it, just one-time losable, as you point out.

Oh, I’ve already been a mermaid –kind of siren- but fear not: I’m not descending. Always going up!

Big hug!

Leni Qinan said...

Dear Maxi,

May 68’ ??? Were you there in Paris, at the riots?? I didn’t know you were sooooo old! LOL.
No, I was joking. Don’t freak out now, please. You’re young.

They really had funny slogans. Pre-hippy, I should say. Rebel, in any case. LOL you made me smile with this ‘Virginity is an illness, get vaccinated’, hahaha. Don’t worry, I got vaccinated many years ago and I’m still enjoying.

And you know what? My credibility is out of doubt, so I haven’t lost it so far.

Big Cheese is going through a difficult situation now in rl, basically in the process of digging his own grave. You’ll hear about it soon. Time always puts things right.

Take care too. ;))

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Hanny! Nice to hear from you again! I hope you’re ok!

Don’t worry, dear. I’m absolutely sure that the people from Hell will help me find another job (you see, I have good contacts). What kind of job… that’s the million dollar question.

The severance pay will help me get by in the meantime. And I hope I won’t hear from Big Cheese again.

Hugs!

Nihal said...

Leni,
I do really enjoy so much reading your notes; that you're so unique plus so funny, having a very clever scale sense of humor:)
Referring your most recent one, exactly agree with ya, hands up:) Me too, I don't know what we did when internet did not exist. One thing I'm sure about we were too silly for words (and other stuff). Since 1995's when i/net entered in my life -that time I was working for Mitsubishi Trading Co.- my life doubled, tripled and rocketing to the space by now:)

A great discover of our times, how lucky we are, aren't you. So we met each other, much more sharing and possibility to join in many brains via thoughts.

This eve I will raise my glass of red wine and would like you to join me in a toast:) Cheers!

Donn Coppens said...

Disturbingly authentic...the feeling of being torn between fear and freedom.

He was a big asshole so good riddence...she'll land on her feet with someone who will appreciate her!

I remember a few of those meetings and thinking the same thing that the boss was suddenly just another "person" and his power over my life was gone and his feet were made of clay.

Fernando said...

Dear Leni,

Tomorrow I´ll be going overseas.

Happy 4th of July!

Leni Qinan said...

My dear Nihal!

Aww... you're really sweet. Thanks for your lovely words. I'm glad that you found some laughs and smiles and winks here (*blushes*)

I agree with you, the internet is one of the best inventions ever. I first had it in 1996 -I worked for a major Spanish telephone operator, and it was restricted only to the management (imagine: no flat rate, horrible connections). Thanks to the internet I could trace friends I had lost track of, home and abroad and do many things I would have never dreamed of.

Who would say that people who are a thousand miles away, just like you and I, could be sharing thoughts and stories. Something we would have not been able to do just 20 years ago (well, that because we were little girls, werent we? hahahah).

Of course I'll join you and raise my glass of red wine! Cheers!

Leni Qinan said...

Hellow Mr Coppens! Glad to see you back in the blogsphere after the latest events, hopefully solved!

BC is quite an authentic character, my friend. Unfortunately I still have to stand his meteorism problems, but I think his days of arrogance will be ending soon.

Yes, he IS a big asshole and I hope very soon I'll be able to say so good riddance!

As Mr Bananas said above... it will be a kind of liberation.

Take care!

Leni Qinan said...

My dear Fernando!

Safe paths and be well (medieval greetings from my roleplayer days). Have fun overseas and see you on the 4th of July, to celebrate Independence Day!

(I'll bring the fireworks, you bring the booze!)

Big big hug!

Grass said...

Hey sis, i'm glad you didn't actually lose the job but you were saying about you going through a tough situation? i hope it's not something to do with global recession.. tsk tsk.. and i do hope you pull through it unscathed.

so i'm back and really happy to be in the blogosphere again.. so many things have happened, i reckon, so i will be checking your previous posts too..

missed you!

xxx

p.s. where is mocky? it's been a while..

hi max!

Leni Qinan said...

No Grass, it's not something to do with the financial crisis, but rather with Big Cheese's situation in the co. -weak-. I don't risk to be fired, but maybe relocated. But I will survive, LOL.

I'm very happy to see you're back in the blogosphere again. Everybody was missing yoursmile here and asking about you. ;))

PS.- Mocky is lost in the blogsphere, though the real guy is in touch in the online game where we met. Max is still around -he's one of the more faithful regulars!-

Big hug!