Credibility and virginity

Getting fired, unfortunately, can happen to the best of us. It can even happen when it's not our fault. But that was not my case.

My case was actually going to be a fair devastating dismissal. I breathed deep, plucked up my courage and knocked on Big Cheese’s office door.

- Come in! –he said loudly-
- Good morning, sir –I said when I opened the door-
- Uh, oh, it’s Miss Q, at last! Nice to see you again. I thought you had been abducted by an alien spacecraft.

I sighed. He was so obnoxious.

- Very funny, indeed, sir. –I said, clenching my teeth-.
- Did you enjoy your holidays, dear? –he asked-
- There's no need to be ironic.
- I can be as ironic as I want, Q. You’re an excellent professional, but you’ve recently proved not to have the slightest sense of duty. I’m very disappointed. You just can’t do this in your position.
- I know I made a serious mistake, sir. I was under so much pressure that I did a very stupid thing. Please accept my apologies. –I whispered desperately, looking down-
- That’s right, Q. You did a very very stupid thing.

He opened the top drawer to his desk and took a file out of it. He handed me the file and lit up a cigarette.

- It was nice while it lasted, but I’m afraid that this is the end of our association. –he said, leaning back on his chair-. Here’s your severance payment and the settlement documents. Read them carefully. The company is offering you a very nice compensation.

I expected this. But I never thought it would have such a powerful effect on me. Suddenly I felt as if I had been hit by a truck. I got such a shock that my mind was unable to think straight.

- I beg you to reconsider your decision, sir. –I whispered with a low voice-
- I can’t, Q. Credibility is like virginity: you lose it only once. And once you lose it… you can never get it back. Capisce?

I nodded. The company offered me a one-year total compensation, which was very generous. So I signed the papers without objection, realising there was nothing I could do to avoid being fired.

- Excellent. Thank you for being so understanding and making it easy. It’s been a pleasure working with you, Q. Good luck.

And that was all the thankyous I got for my five years of service at the Dumbass Industries.

I left his office very disheartened. His cortège of sycophants and harem of female brown nosers would immediately knock on his door to butter him up. I would soon be forgotten.

Deep feelings of disappointment and uncertainty overwhelmed me. There was a cardboard box on my desk where someone had put my personal belongings: some books and cds and a small vanity bag.

The good side of having been fired was I wouldn’t have to stand his meteorism problems, hear his heavy swearing and cursing or bear his childish funny little ways. No more inconvenient phone calls at midnight; no more being shouted at or standing Monday morning faces.

And yes, if you asked me, he looked old, fat and ugly. In spite of his draconian diet, his exclusive Armani suits and myopia operation. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig.

When I left my office, I came across the secretary in the corridor.

- I know it’s unfair, Leni. Nobody ever worked as hard as you did in this office to change things for the better. But you shouldn’t have left your job for three weeks without telling the boss you were taking three weeks off. Why did you do that? –asked the secretary-
- I was sick and tired of everything. And I knew he wouldn’t allow me to take some holidays.

We kissed goodbye.

When I went outside, I saw the guy from the Unions. He was sitting on a bench in the sun, in front of building 1, smoking a big fat cigar. I tried to leave unnoticed, but his radar spotted me carrying the cardboard box.

- Aww… dear… Big Cheese kicked yer ass, right Q? –he asked-
- That’s right, dude. –I answered-
- Well, I told ya long ago. What goes around, comes around. You have to sleep in the bed you make. He who ives by the sword, dies by the sword. You do the crime, you do the time. Everyone gets their comeuppance, Q. Don’t take it personal, please. –he said, blowing smoke rings in the air-
- I bet you must be very happy now.
- No, Q. Your dismissal doesn’t make me happy. I’m not such an evil guy. You’re a very tough worker, and I would have defended you always. But your ex-boss is a fucking piece of shit and you were one of the loyals.
- It’s very funny, indeed to hear you say this after having sued me so many times for the most stupid things!!!
- Yeah, dear, and I’m now somehow sorry for that. But that’s just the way it is. Welcome to the class struggle. Unfortunately you were on the wrong side. I was just kicking your boss’s ass. But please, don’t take it personal.

Jeez, how could I possibly not take it personal???

My nice and cosy flat; my silver BMW Series 1; my lifestyle; my future. Everything would go up in smoke.

I walked –rather sleepwalked- like a zombie towards my car, two blocks away from the Dumbass house.

And this is how I lost credibility. Virginity was already lost a few years ago.




"Five years" (David Bowie)