SURREAL ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The sorcerer(I)

- Who are you? And how did we meet?–I asked, staring into his eyes-
- Oh, come on. –he answered, unwillingly-
- My memories of you are deleted. So tell me, who are you?

He sighed.

- I’m Ed Davies. I own a publishing house in South Sandwich and some other businesses in Orsinia. –he said-. You made a stupid deal with Hellgirl, a devil woman you’re friends with. You agreed to write a book for her if she brought Bob, your boyfriend, back to you. She entrusted me with the publication of your book and she would get the earnings. I just followed her instructions and contacted you.

My face radiated. For a moment, I walked on a cloud thinking I was a published writer.

- Have I published a book? –I asked, very excited-
- I’m very sorry to disappoint you, but you haven’t. I wrote it for you to pay your debt with Hellgirl. But it’s a long story.

Gosh I was friends with a devil woman and this guy had saved my soul writing a book!

- It seems I have an interesting life.
- Sure, you can’t complain.
- Go on. Tell me more about yourself.
- Oh Leni, is this really necessary?
- Yes, it is.
- I was born in Burdishland and live in the South Sandwich Islands.
- How old are you? Hm… you must be fortyfivish…
-I said staring at him-

He laughed.

- No, I’m quite older.
- Forty-six?
–I said, smiling and getting closer to him-
- If I’d tell you what my real age is you would die of a heart attack, so wait until the sorcerer comes and you recover your real identity. Believe me, you already knew everything about me.
- Give me some refresher hints, please. I’m a poor amnesic woman who has forgotten everything.
–I asked, pretending to pout but smiling then-

He laughed again and looked down.

- This is one of the things I like most about you. You’re so curious and funny; so alive.
- Stop flattering me and tell me, how old are you? Are you married? Do you have kids? What do you do in your spare time?
- Fuck, Leni if I told you all this you’d get scared the hell out of me and I would lose you again!

He sighed deep and sipped his long drink.

- I’m 297 years old. I married twice and was widowed twice too. I had four children, but they’re all gone.

I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

- Dude, do you know that you’re really talented for gothic pitch-black humour and horror movies? That was fun but stop teasing me, will you?
- Yeah, I’ll stop teasing you.
–he said, looking down-

But no, that was not a joke and he was not teasing me. That was his real story and he didn’t want to talk about it. The world we were living in was no longer ordinary, but notoriously weird. We were just two tiny pawns lost in the fight between good and evil.

He was saved by the bell: it was providential that the transparent butler made his appearance with a gloomy individual who wore what appeared to be a shiny magical armour over his black cloak. He wore chunky chains and layers of necklaces dripping with amulets. His hands were full of rings.

- Mylord… Master Nikolae the Long is here. –announced the butler-
- Good den, Mylord. Good morrow, my lady – said the sorcerer, greeting Ed and me-
- Good den, Master. How fare thee? Welcome to my chambers. I disposed to call you with the purpose of breaking a major spell that has been cast on this gel. It has been brought to my knowledge that thou art reputed to be the best in thy field. –said Ed. bowing at him-
- My modesty prevents me from declaring my services as the best, Mylord. But mayhap… -said the sorcerer, bowing too-

They both laughed.

- Please, be me guest. I will introduce thou to the hexed gel. –said Ed-
- Aye, Mylord.

Oh gosh, they spoke old English, just like in Dungeons and Dragons, Tunnels and Trolls, Medieval Fantasy, Gor and all the games I used to play in my teenage role player years! At least I could take advantage of all the hours spent as a basilisk, an elf woman, a female zombie or whatever creature the gamemaster would assign me.

I could follow and speak the same language, which surprised Ed and pleased the sorcerer.

- What be your name, kid? –asked the sorcerer-
- Nicolette Bixby, Sir. –I answered-
- Excuse me but, she thinks that’s her name, but her real name is Leni. -interrupted Ed immediately-
- Aye. Methinks thou art very pretty… by my troth! –said the sorcerer-
- Verily, she is so. –said Ed-
- Grammarcy, you are kind, Sir. -I thanked them-
- Master; call me Master, please. And don’t forget to bow at the Lord. Come hither, gel.

I approached him and couldn’t resist the temptation to ask:

- Dude. Tell me something. You can speak modern English, can’t you?
- Of course I can.
– he chuckled-
- Then why do you use the old language? We’re in 2010, not in 1500.
- Because modern English doesn’t taste good in my mouth.
–he answered with disdain-.

Gosh, was he arrogant and scary! I called it quits and softly bowed at Ed. I noticed he had to make an effort not to split his sides laughing. The sorcerer smiled at me and I approached him, not very confident. He took my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. His mesmerising look sucked all the energy out of my body and I fainted.








Tangerine dream “Impresions of sorcerer"

24 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

That sorcerer sounds like a snake-eyed devil, I would have made you put on a chastity belt before delivering you into his clutches. And making a fuss about how things taste his mouth is a sign of an inconsiderate lover.

Jimmy Bastard said...

Love it! Ye olde English is spake like that of a silver tongued serpent of truth.

Great mix, nice style, rivlets of humour, and lashings of imagination, all make for a good read indeed.

max said...

What a weird character that sorcerer! I wouldn't trust him either. His pic in this post looks impressive, kind of Rasputin!

I'm also very impressed by your knowledge of languages: Olde English too!

Fare thee well, mylady!

sage said...

I am also impressed with the old English, nice touch... I'm still left wondering where this is heading, but it's a fun ride.

Leni Qinan said...

Mr Bananas, that sorcerer is indeed the living proof of arrogance in the mid 1500. I suppose, I expect (I hope) that Ed will chop his head off if he even dared touch me with a stick, so I don’t think the chastity belt would be necessary, but thank you for being so thoughtful about my physical safety.

His comment about modern English tasting bad in his mouth is extremely rude and arrogant. But this is the way supernatural beings are. You're just getting to know them.

Leni Qinan said...

Jimmy, thanks, always!

Ye olde English is amazing. I learned just a little bit roleplaying, and I found it very interesting. It makes my imagination fly away centuries ago and picture in my mind how life was those years.

But I’m now focussed on living languages and struggling hard with German at this moment. Real hard, not an easy language.

Take care!

Leni Qinan said...

Maxi,

I wouldn’t trust the sorcerer if I was alone with him, but I feel safe with Ed’s protection (and he promised to pay him generously). That pic is terrific, isn’t it? You’re right, he has a mysterious imposing Slavic air comparable to the evil Rasputin, but the sorcerer is 100% English.

I’m not good at Olde English, but I learned some words in my virtual adventures, lol.

Be well, Mylord!

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Sage!

Nice to read that you enjoyed this “olde” touch. Where is this heading? This is like a road movie; like Ende’s never ending story; it could be a script for a TV series I guess… LOL.

Take care!

Grass said...

Old English, wow. I only encountered this language on Shakespeare or on rough translations of Beauwulf (I'm not even sure if I spelled it right). It was a nice addition to the story though, it made me laugh. The pictures really look appropriate too. They made imagining the whole scene very easy. :)

I hope this sorcerer guy isn't really as arrogant as he seem to be. ;) But with Ed around, I suppose I can rest easy. :)

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Grassy!
As a student of English, I had to study a book with the tales from Shakespeare translated to modern English –with some bits of old English- and they were a real pleasure to read. I would also recommend you the sonnets. You can find a modern translation here:

http://www.nosweatshakespeare.com/sonnets.htm

You’ve read Beowulf, the epic poem! I love mythology too, especially Greek. I learned that Olde English had complicated declinations –like in Latin or the present German- that were lost in the XIth century (thank God) and masculin and feminine pronouns too, that were also lost, becoming a more analytical language. And of course, nowadays the first language for international relations.

About the sorcerer… he shouldn’t be arrogant, or he won’t get paid! With Ed around, things can’t be bad…

XXX

Dick said...

I like the old English language, maybe it's easier for dutch people to understand.
A strange person that sorcerer but I suppose all sorcerers are.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Dick!

Is it really easier to understand for you? It sounds really beautiful and picturesque to me.

That sorcerer is weird and mysterious; people with magic powers and esoteric skills surely are. You can find some of them here. ;)

Grass said...

Thanks for the link sis. I love Shakespeare. When I was in college, I hoarded a very thick volume of collections of his sonnets from the special section of the library. Since no one seemed interested to borrow it, I hoarded it for one whole month. I was only allowed to have it for one week so I was fined. LOL

My favorites are King Lear, Midsummer Night's Dream and The Twelfth Night. :)

That's so cool, to study languages. I would love to do that as well but I just don't have the time... :)

xxx

Nihal said...

I am not sure but it may refer to oldest english welsh? If so, I heard about it and would love to study on it. Let me say you are amazing! Wish you could give us online O.E. lessons on your blog?

In my mother tongue, there's two versions: old and modern turkish. Old generations communicate perfectly in both, but young ones never understand. Me too, no way I do not understand even a word.

Oh did you wear green and hold your three-leavedclover sweet Leni? Wishing you happiest & luckiest St Patrick's Day from my heart:) Hope Spring came in your area like ours, in full bright colors of pinkies, yellows and aquablues..

With Love~

Leni Qinan said...

Grassy,

I knew you would love Shakespeare's tales! -I imagine little Grassy reading frantically, as a bookworm-. Too bad that you were fined for keeping the book so long. :(

My favorites are definitely MacBeth Midsummer Night's Dream.

You should wait when Gugu grows a bit to study languages. But you're one of the privileged English native speakers and bilingual too, right?

XXX

Crabbers said...

C'est un ensorceleur ! Il hante mon grimoire
Et tandis que je peine à composer des vers,
Il m'ouvre son iris sur d'amples univers,
Comme pour me guider vers l'antique mémoire.

Des bisous ensorceleur !

Leni Qinan said...

Dear Nihal!

I think Welsh is quite different from English -even the old language-.

Old English lessons, me? OMG, i think there would be better candidates to do that (Mr Bananas, Jimmy and Sage are native speakers, and surely better teachers, lol).

I didnt know there was Old Turkish still in use! It's amazing!

And last but not least, have a very happy St Patrick's Day too. The Irish community here is very active and there are many parties
and celebrations where Sandwichians are welcome. Of course, I'll wear something green -and a three-leavedclover!

I'm glad to hear Spring has arrived in Istanbul! It's here too! We have 18ºC and the trees start blossoming all over...

Lots of love to you too!

Leni Qinan said...

Mon Cher Crabbers!

Bravo le poète!!!
Méfie-toi des ensorceleurs, surtout de ceux des anciens temps!

C'est leur magie ce qui nous plait!

Des bisous magiques!

Grass said...

Yes sis, English is our secondary language but I think you know and speak the language better than I do.. hehehe

I'm trilingual. I speak and write Japanese..hehehe But not for bragging, I studied the language because I used to be so addicted to Japanese animations-anime; and dreamed of studying in Tokyo University (locally called TODAI) when I was in college. Ah, I was such a dreamer. :D

But you're way better, I tried studying French but I gave up after one month.. LOL And wow, you can speak it like it's your native tongue. Amazing.


xxx

Grass said...

BTW, now I can see where you got the inspiration of writing magic-realism type of stories. Macbeth must be one them, right? Romeo and Juliet would have been one of my favorites but a lot of people love it already, I thought I should give more credits to Shakespeare's other love story-"The Twelfth Night"-it's so funny that after reading it more than ten times, I still laugh my arse off every time I do.. hahaha


xxx

Leni Qinan said...

WOW, Grass!!! You speak Japanese!!! Let me congratulate you for your exceptional skills! I am very impressed!

I worked for a Japanese Bank for 6 years and they paid me a one-year course, but I gave up. It was too hard for me. I still keep my jibiki and my old book, but really, it was stronger than me.

Among the Indoeuropean family of languages, French is easier for those who –like me- are natives from countries with languages belonging to the Italic sub-family (Romance languages derived from Latin). I went to a French school and lived 3 years in France, so I had no choice but learning, LOL. And yes, German is very hard, but not impossible. I may need it for work and I’m taking 3 hours per week.

((Don’t be so impressed, sis. I may be good at languages but the part of my brain that controls the mathematics functions is completely underdevelopped, surely smaller than a nut: I’m totally hopeless with numbers, and so many other stuffs…))

XXX.

Leni Qinan said...

Well, Grass, this time I’ve drawn a little inspiration from “Midsummer night’s dream”, in fact you’ll see a bit of it in a further post. The tragedy of Macbeth is about his ambition and the evil actions it motivates, and there are a few supernatural beings around him (rather metaphors of his own conscience, I think). But to be honest, most sometimes my inspiration comes from the most unexpected sources.

I haven’t read “The twelfth night” –I must!-

rebecca said...

Hola Leni!

Getting caught up! I have so many of your posts to catch up to! I've been a very bad blogger/friend!

"- Because modern English doesn’t taste good in my mouth. "

Can I tell you I LOVED this line the best! Brilliant!

Ok, gotta go...onto the next!

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Rebecca!

Hey, no worries, I know you’re very busy with your Zaphalon book, so don’t worry about it. I’m glad just to have you visiting.

Thanks for your comment on the sorcerer line (I really wanted to make this character very arrogant and I hope I got it!).

((abrazos!))

PS.- I’m going onto your next comment.