SURREAL ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Out for the count

The morning after, I woke up in a blue, blue mood. Bob appeared to be asleep in my dream the night before, so I assumed it had not been lucid at all. The words I whispered to him would be sadly lost forever and he would never know how much loved him.

But life went on; so gloomy and tedious.

Some days later, I was driving to work under a heavy rain alongside the cycle lane through Babylon Avenue. My heart missed a beat when I saw Bob there on his bicycle. He looked so good in his black “No nukes” shirt, camouflage trousers, Dr. Martens’ boots and green duffle coat. I sighed deeply. He was arguing with the driver of a white van that had blocked the cycle lane. He always kept his cool when driving or cycling, but car drivers standing in his way made him furious. I couldn’t help stopping and running to him.

- Hey Bob! –I said, ignoring the other guy-
- Hey Len! Long time no see! Wow, you look so fly, so pretty! –he said smiling a great smile-
- Aww thank you! Dress code is business smart at work, you know. How was your trip to Orsinia? –I asked him-
- Not too bad. I came back yesterday. Actually, I worked like a dog there. I’m taking it easy now. And how are you doing, babe? –he asked, brushing my right cheek-.

Before I could even answer, the angry guy of the van said:

- Sorry to interrupt you bloke, but I was on the verge of kicking your ass.
- Shut yer gob fucker, I’m talking to the lady. I haven’t seen her for a while and I missed her big time. So gimme a lil’ sec before I sew yer ass to yer face, ok?
–said Bob-.

It may sound nasty, but I couldn’t help laughing when he said that. I loved to hear he had missed me. Surprisingly, it seemed that all the fuss about Max and the Orsinian girl had never happened.

- Maybe it’s me the one who’s interrupting something. –I said-
- Come on baby, you never interrupt. This fucking bastard was blocking the cycling path. I just made a sign to let him know he should back up and he gave me a murderous look. –said Bob-
- What a bloody liar! You flipped me the bird! And then you tapped on the hood of my car with your creepy sticky fingers just to annoy me! –said the van guy-.
- Yeah, I made that lovely sound to scare you! Respect the rules, dickhead! This is just for bicycles, not for cars! Don’t cross the cycling path just because it’s shorter to get to the next street! –said Bob, tapping again on the car hood-
- Hey! Keep your hands off my van and move, piece of shit! –he said trying uselessly to push Bob off his bike-
- Hey guys, why don’t we all get off the gas and try to make peace? –I said-

My desperate and well-intentioned efforts to enhance peace in the South Sandwichian cycle paths, were simply ignored; suddenly, the big guy from the van took a run up and moved his hand forward to smash Bob’s face into the van’s windshield. I was in the middle of them and his fist, just like an iron sledgehammer, bashed my face by accident with a devastating blow. Suddenly all was black and I collapsed on the floor on a puddle of my own blood.

I lost consciousness for some minutes; was taken to hospital; had a brain scan, a neurological test and some checkups done to my eyes and nose. Nothing was broken or hopelessly damaged. Everything seemed to be okay, apart from the fact that my right cheek and nose were awfully bruised and I had a splitting headache. I could go home, but had to be on observation period for 24 hours.

When the doctor gave me the all-clear, a nurse called Bob and he rushed to my aid. He had been told to stay in the waiting room.

- Hey, beauty. How do you feel? –he asked me-
- It only hurts when I laugh –I smiled softly-
- Baby, I’m so sorry about this.
- It’s not your fault.
- It IS my fault. I should have stopped arguing. That blow was intended for me.
- Luckily I got it. Or you would have started fighting real hard and now you’d be in my place. It’s better like this.

- Jeez, no. Don’t say that, Len.
- I must be looking like a monster –I said, staring at my blood-stained shirt-
- You always look stunning, baby.

He stroked my cheek and smiled at me. Then he sweetly kissed my hands. I didn’t know that a punch on my face would have such a lovely side effect on him. I was overwhelmed by his kindness.

- Your boss called you on the cell phone half an hour ago. I told him what happened. He sends his best wishes and will call later. –he said- Oh, and Mr. Prick Man was here for a while. He said he was so sorry and blah blah blah. He brought you these flowers, a teddy bear and a card. He’s gonna call you later. He asked me what your cell phone number was, but I gave him mine instead, just in case. I don't like the idea of making friends with that one, but he wants to apologize to you.

He took the van driver’s flowers and gave me the card. It said “My sincere apologies, Leni. I hope you get well soon. Al Cohol”.

- Al Cohol? Is that his name?
–I asked with a fit of laughter-
- Albert. Albert Cohol. –he said laughing too-
- Thanks for everything, Bob. And for taking care of my cell phone. What would I do without you? –I said, shyly-

His big blue eyes stared warmly into mine. I lowered the glance and fought a blush.

- Len. Do you want to call your mom and granny? You should not be alone today. –he said-
- They’re out. They went on a cruise to the Mawi-Mawi Islands for the whole week. I’m afraid there’s no coverage over there. They’ll probably be lying on a deck chair now, having a Champagne Napoleon Port Sangaree cocktail next to an amazingly handsome and well built colored hula dancer with a 500 G note inside his super tight golden bath suit.

He smiled.

- Not even a huge blow would make you lose your good humour, right?
- Right
-I said, smiling back-.
- You can’t be on your own today, Len. That’s doctor’s orders. –he asked-
- I’ll be alright, don’t worry.
- Stay with me, baby. I’ll take care of you.

That would have sounded like a proposal on bended knee if I didn’t have a black and blue face and he didn’t mean to keep an eye on me, just in case I would suddenly feel dizzy, fall downstairs and break my head open. I was moved though.

- No, I’ll be ok.
- Stop being silly, Len. It’s the least I can do for you. I can be a pain in the ass, but you won’t die if you stay one day at my place. -he said smiling at me-.
- Ok, ok, I’ll stay with you.

He was feeling so guilty. My cell phone went. It was Big Cheese.

- Hey Q! How do you feel? Your boyfriend told me what has happened to you.

He left me speechless.

MY BOYFRIEND.
My boyfriend?
Did I have one of those?
Did he really say that?
To Big Cheese?
How come I didn’t know???

- Q, are you there? –asked BC-
- Oh, yes, yes. –I said, still puzzled-
- How do you feel?
- I will survive, I think.
- Good girl. Take your time to recover.
- Thanks. I will.


I can’t remember the rest of the conversation but when I put the cellphone down, I was all stunned.

- Bob. Did you tell Big Cheese you are my boyfriend? –I asked him-
- Hrm… eh… no. –he said, shaking his head and acting as if nothing was out-

But he went red as a beetroot. I was astounded. I knew he was lying.

(To be continued)






"Hollow man" (REM)

25 comments:

s said...

ba ba ba ba baaaaam! Looks like you have a boyfriend, very cool :D
Eventhough you were the one who got knocked out in the fight, he is the one who was knocked out by you all this time. And not even a word about maxi or the orsinian bitch, eh. Moreover, without the help of hellgirl. Nice job there!

What a bit of alcohol can do to a person, its amazing :P

ps i hope the bruises and headache will be over soon.

tom909 said...

I'm not sure about this Bob guy, Leni. He is a bit creepy. Are you sure he is the one for you?

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Mocky!

Do I have a boyfriend??? I'm not as sure as you are!
I wouldn't count my chickens before they have hatched. He was too shy to admit he said that to Big Cheese. How does it grab you?

Yeah, I try to knock him out all the time, but jeeez... what a hard nut to crack! It would have been so easy with Hellgirl's help, but I know you will agree, I have to do it myself. :)

Let me tell you a secret: Hellgirl is not done yet with Maxi+the Orsinian girl (bitch?, hahaha why do you hate her?).

Yeah, it's amazing how nasty some people can get under the effects of booze -see Mr. Albert Cohol- lol. But he apologized and I'm sure he won't be blocking the cycle path again.

The bruises are getting better, the headache is gone, thanks :))

See you soon!

Len.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Tom! Long time no see!

Am I sure this is the right guy for me?
Well, I guess I am now under the effect of strong infatuation (you know, under that spell that makes us blind to our beloved ones' flaws). Maybe if I discover he bites his nails or sniffs instead of blowing his nose... lol.

I'm very picky with guys, as you know. So... what kind of guy do you think would be the right one for me, Tom? Tell me, I'm curious. :))

Crazy Ro said...

Va progresando la historia...y la ausencia y el desencuentro por un tiempo, haya sido provocado a propósito o no, casi siempre es una buena estrategia=)

Besos

Grass said...

Hi Len!

It's not good to know that you had to take that blow. That was nasty! :-( Hmmm, how sweet (and slow?) of Bob to finally realize your worth. Heck you just took an angry fist from that drunk bloke for him even if it was by accident! I'm not sure, but I think if I were Bob, I probably would have beaten the hell out of Mr. Al Cohol (funny name!) for hurting "my girl", even if it was meant for me.

Blushing? How cute is that? LOL

Anyway, I hope that accident didn't do any serious damage and you get well and come back bruiseless (sounds like a jazzed up version of bruce lee!) :-)

xxx Grass

Leni Qinan said...

Hola Ro,

La ausencia fue por trabajo, el desencuentro por malentendidos, creo. A veces bastante risibles, jajaja.
Esta historia no deja de progresar. Realmente no sé si tengo estrategia, bwaaaaa!

Bss.

Leni Qinan said...

RO'S AND LENI'S TRANSLATION:

Ro said:
The story is progressing... the absence and the separation for some time, whether they were on purpose or not, are a good strategy most if the times=)

Kss.


Leni said:
Hi Ro,
The absence was due to Bob's work and the separation a result of misunderstandings, I think. Sometimes very laughable ones, hahaha.
This story doesn't stop progression. I really don't know if I have a strategy!

Leni Qinan said...

Hi sis!

Thanks for caring, dear!

It hurts like hell and my face is swollen like a balloon, but I wouldn't want them to be fighting with their fists the Far West style! It scares me to see big guys fighting! And it happens every now and then -and a lot on the weekends if you go out for a drink!-

Bob is a peaceful guy who knows very well to keep his cool -that's the only reason why he didn't kill Mr. Al Cohol, lol- but he would have loved to smash his face. This is one of the things I like the best of him -I mean being peaceful and steady, not smashing Mr. Al Cohol's face, hahaha-

You and me are hot blooded people, sis! I would have fought as well. But I admire these persons who can control their anger in delicate situations -it's hard sometimes, at least for me-.

And yes, sis, Bob blushing looks sooo cute! (I can't resist shy guys!)

Big kiss. Leni (sowwee, but not Len. That's just for Bob, lol) ;)

PS.- *waves goodbye and looks at her brucelees face in the mirror*


Blushing? How cute is that? LOL

Anyway, I hope that accident didn't do any serious damage and you get well and come back bruiseless (sounds like a jazzed up version of bruce lee!) :-)

xxx Grass

Leni Qinan said...

Grass,

As you can see a part of your comment is in my reply. I'm so lazy when it comes to scroll down the mouse that i copied it into the comment box when I was answering and forgot to delete it. Sowwy. ;)

max said...

Yeah that's right, I agree with Tom. But I’ll be more direct: that boyfriend of yours is creepy and if I were him I would have killed Mr. Cohol right on the spot.

Anyway, I’ll get in touch with Hellgirl for that Scarlet Johanson thing. I am very intrigued about what the Orsinian girl looks like.

Love and hugs.

PS- Does it hurt? Take care, Leni. And keep writing, I am completely hooked on your diary!

Leni Qinan said...

Aww Max!

I have now doubt that you're hurt because of what happened recently. My heart belongs to Bob, yo know that, right?

I appreciate your support, darling, but I think you should better keep your cool. Mr. Cohol apologized at least!

You know how to summon Hellgirl (just say "Hey Hellgirl" and she will be right there). I dont know if she can get you Scarlet Johanson, but maybe a clone will do.

XXX. Leni.

It only hurts when I laugh, hahahahha (ooooouuuuuuch!!!)

And thanks for being such a faithful reader of my diary! I'm soooo glad to hear that!

tom909 said...

So Leni, I'm not sure I know you well enough to be telling you the kind of guy that would be best for you. Someone strong, someone smart, someone who can stand up to you a bit, someone a bit like me really hehehehehehe!

Fernando said...

De acuerdo con Pía, suele funcionar.ç

By the way. Creo que Bob necesita un estilista..... Por Dios, que conbinación....

Leni Qinan said...

Wow. Tom, I’m so pleased to see you again!

What an interesting offer in the most genuine understated British way, hahaha. That’s really cute: you’re already in my list!

Btw, don’t pretend you don’t know me well enough (you and I know that’s not true, cheeky!).

Yeah, I know that you’re strong, smart and would always stand up for me –and that’s really nice to hear-

((So you mean if you and I… I would be having fish’n’chips, Yorkshire pudding and porridge for the rest of my life, huh?)) ;)
XXX.

Leni Qinan said...

Fernan, querido
Yo no soy el árbitro de la elegancia, pero la combinación de Bob me parece supermolona y muy acorde con su personalidad, de la que diría simplemente que es única. Yo creo que no necesita estilista. Los Zeewlanders son estilosos de nacimiento. Lo importante es que a mí me parezca irresistible, ¿no? ;)

Leni Qinan said...

TRANSLATION:

Fernando said:

I agree with Pía, it usually works.
By the way. I think Bob needs an image consultant… omg what a garb!


Leni said:

Fernan darling I ain’t no stylishness guru, but in my opinion Bob’s garb is supertrendy and very much in line with his personality, that I would describe as simply unique. I don’t think he needs an image consultant. Zeewlanders are trendy by birth. What really matters is that I find him irresistible, don’t you think so? ;)

s said...

LOL


i love these sometimes not so nice, but allways well intended comments :D

so leni, you are not sure whether he is your boyfriend? hrmm i keep my fingers crossed for you and hope for the best. :)

Leni Qinan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leni Qinan said...

Hi Mocky! You already woke up from your mega siesta, sleepyhead? :))

It seems that there are 2 teams here:

1) BOB FOR PRESIDENT (You’re the main supporter, I'm afraid). Prolly Donn would be here too.

2) TO HELL WITH BOB (Tom, Max, Sedi, Fernan)

Grass and Ro are neutral, I think (tho sometimes Grass is in the first team. LOL.). Dom is in limbo, I think.

I hope I haven't forgotten anyone.

The silent ones never give their opinion, HAHAHAHAHA! But their visits are always appreciated.

And yes, I agree with you: these comments are always well intended, (there's nothing worse than a serious fight in a blog. Believe me: it can be very unpleasant)

I think we're all growing into good participation, communication and humour here, and it makes me real happy. You guys are the best readerships I could ever imagine. :)

XXX. Len.

PS1.-((I think my efforts will be giving a result good result very soon, but right now... I am not yet 100% sure Bob is my boyfriend :))

PS2.- Please keep your fingers crossed until everything is crystal clear, lol.

Grass said...

Sis, I'm glad you appreciate as we appreciate you.. It's always a pleasure reading your blogs, heck, my days are not complete without looking and reading your posts :-)

Yes, I'm neutral at times because hmmm, as your sis (Hellgirl knows fully well the wickedness of the world), I'd like to protect you from getting hurt and disillusioned. But I know you're all grown up and can handle everything and that you'll fare fine, knowing you! :D So yeah, whatever it is that makes you happy, go for it! Go for Bob! LOL


xxx Whip Slasher

Leni Qinan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leni Qinan said...

Hi Whip Slasher Sis,

Of course I appreciate -more than my words can express-.

You readerships are a continuous source of inspiration and encouragement for me to keep on writing. I'm very glad to know you enjoy so much reading the stuff i write. I feel very very honoured. :o)

I have a hell of a good time writing every chapter of this story. My only purpose is to entertain you, make you laugh a bit, think a bit, move you a bit... in a word: to make you participate in this little life of mine and if possible, make you smile sometime. I'm satisfied if I can get it.

Let me tell you a secret, sis: as a very well balanced person, Hellgirl has been of great help with her advice and wise views.

I know you care a lot and dont want me get hurt or disillusioned, but yes Bob and me are adults and I know we will handle the situation the best way possible (cross your fingers, I'm going for him, hahaha).

Sedi said...

Hi,

not so many comments about just interesting and with great expectations how finish all this .....

Just wonder and thinking.....

Nice reading

Leni Qinan said...

Hey Sedi!

Long time no see! Thanks for your comment and nice to have you back here!

It's cool to know you're interested. Next chapter tomorrow morning. Just finished writing it! I hope you enjoy!

XXX.