SURREAL ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH SANDWICH ISLANDS

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

How I became a well paid hooker...

In the past, I had often taken radical decisions without hesitating, in order to turn my professional life 180. My intuition always guided me in the right direction.

But this time it was completely different. This was the most delicate situation I ever had to face concerning my work.

In all honesty, I wasn’t very happy with the idea of becoming a social escort, a VIP hooker, an expensive slut… call it what you want to. It would always be the same.

But on the other hand, I couldn’t find a job anywhere and I desperately needed money to pay my mortgage. If I was able to overcome my reluctance and handle the situation, this would be easy money. Maybe I just needed a little psychological training to accept my new occupation.

Madame Christelle, a famous dissipated woman who owned the most popular top class brothel of Grytviken after the war, wrote in her fabulous book of memories ‘Dubious moral’: "Women that do men should like their job. Otherwise, working could be a torture".

That was discouraging. I could have had a bit of a dissolute behaviour in my life, but that didn’t qualify me to become a professional whore.

So that night I didn’t sleep a wink. I pictured myself walking old fat tycoons all over the city; being exhibited like a trophy; sitting beside them at the most expensive restaurants; smiling at each and everyone; becoming the sexual fantasy of wealthy happily married but sexually unhappy men; finally being shagged night after night in the expensive suites of the most expensive hotels.

The bright side of my dreams was that I always had a few bucks in my pocket and I didn’t have to live on bread and tomato soup anymore. But in the back of my mind, I wished I could go back to the day when Hellgirl offered me to become a chicken sexer and say ‘yes’. Unfortunately, I was not in time to change my mind.

When I woke up from my concerns, Hellgirl phoned me.

- Leni, have you thought about yesterday’s conversation?
- Yes.
- Have you taken a decision?
- Yes. I accept the job.
- Excellent. Then it’s time to dress up, get ready and go to see Demonius High. You will meet him at his office at 11am.

For some reason, at that very moment I thought of Ed. I missed him badly. I still carried that devastating feeling of rejection around in my stomach like a painful burden. I expected a phone call, an e-mail or an SMS for weeks. But I never heard from him since I left his family house in Burdishland, after having thrown on the table the wonderful diamond ring he gave me. The very thought of that scene left me about to tear up. What a shame our romance didn’t have a happy ending.

I let out a deep sigh of melancholy and slowly woke up to reality.

I chose the best dress in my wardrobe, a pair of high heeled shoes and got all dolled up. It was almost 10am and I had to leave to ‘Hig, Low & partners’ premises. I decided to take a taxi. I had run out of gas in my beautiful silver BMW Series 1 some weeks ago, and never refuelled the tank afterwards. I had to cut expenses. I couldn’t take the tube either, because I looked a bit eye-catching in my elegant clothes. I normally didn't dress so smartly for work, but I thought this was what Demonius High would like to see.

And yes, in fact he loved it. When I entered his luxurious office, he appraised me from top to bottom.

- Dear Leni, come in please. I’ve heard so much about you from our common friend Hellgirl! You look stunning! –he said, smiling and holding out his hand to me.
- Thank you, sir.
- Oh please, call me Dem.

Demonius High was a very charismatic businessman. Diplomatic, attractive and nice, he exerted a strong personal magnetism.

- I’m so glad that you decided to join the firm. Your work is very important to us, Leni.
- Thank you, sir.
- Dem. Call me Dem, please.
- Thank you, Dem.

I could barely smile and I spoke so unwillingly that I’m now surprised he didn’t think that I was stupid.

He brought to the conversation the signature of an agreement by virtue of which I would become an employee of his company. He summarised again the conditions and remunerations for my services, and upon agreement of both parties, we signed a contract. This was one of the saddest moments of my life. My self esteem hit bottom, as disappointed with myself as I was.

After the signature, he gave me a folder containing a passport, a credit card, the keys to a sports car and an iPhone for my personal use, just as Hellgirl had explained to me the day before. Then, he handed me a photograph and explained what my first work would be.

- This is Leonard Ellison, the wealthiest man in Orsinia. He owns a profitable huge corporation and I have the honour of being his legal advisor in the South Sandwich Islands. He’s arriving tomorrow on a business trip. You will entertain him to dinner and then you will shower him with attentions. Be an exquisite girl, Leni. He’s my best client. –he said, staring into my eyes-

Leonard Ellison. I almost blacked out when I heard that name. The loathsome, obnoxious, thin-skinned, narcissist, egocentrical, arrogant, proud and self-centered Leonard Ellison was a middle-aged Orsinian tycoon, well-known for his haughtiness and irritating mannerisms.

He was the most important benefactor of the Dumbass Industries when I worked there.

Last winter, Big Cheese had sent me to Madhattan to fix a huge fuckup of epic proportions: he had forgotten to invite Leonard Ellison to the new theatre opening gala, organised by the Dumbass Industries and sponsored by the Ellison Corporation. His assistant called to reserve four seats but since there were none available, she was told that his name would be added to the waiting list and taken off as cancellations would come in. When Leonard knew this, he freaked out. Not only did he take offence; he also took action immediately: he phoned to tell Big Cheese he would be cutting the funds allocated to community services.

My desperate attempts to speak to Mr. Ellison just took me to his Chief of Cabinet, who was a nice guy but also the custodian of his boss's peace. So Leonard remained completely unreachable.


Ed knew him quite well. They had done business together and played golf regularly.
So eventually, it was Ed who got in touch and convinced him: Leonard Ellison gave him his word of honour that he would send back the funds to the Dumbass Industries. So for the moment, Big Cheese could save his ass.

This is how well I knew the guy. And now I had to "shower him with attentions", so to speak.

Suddenly I got in a panic. What would happen if Ed ever found out what my new occupation was? What if my future became an endless series of nightmarish sessions of exquisite girly action? I would never be able to have a normal life again.

When I got home, I felt empty inside. A few minutes later, just as if she had been watching me, Hellgirl phoned.

- So how did it go, Leni?
- Oh, great. I have a new boss. I work for a great corporation. Tomorrow I’ll have my first client. Now it’s official: I’m a hooker.





‘Little boxes’ (Regina Spektor)

19 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I hope he's impotent and just displays you as a trophy. Don't let him kiss you on the lips!

corticoWhat said...

It worked out for Julia Roberts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r8N6I4ENL4

max said...

OH dear. I know you like clever men, but that Leonard dude looks horrible, Leni.

I sincerely hope you have a contingency plan.

Take care!!!

Grass said...

Gosh, you have finally become Maria, the leade character of "11 minutes" by Pablo Coelho. Tsk tsk.. I just hope this story doesn't end with disillusionment about love and sex. Hmmm..

As for your first client, I remember him. Yikes! I cannot imagine how Ed will react if he finds out! How could he abandon you in times like this?

Just like what Gorilla said, I hope he just display you as his trophy girlfriend for the night. I can't imagine you kissing him sis.. ewwwwwwwww.. I bet he also farts a lot.. LOL


Waiting for more..;-)


xxx

Leni Qinan said...

Mr Bananas,

That’s very thoughtful of you, I hope so too. I'll try my best to avoid a French kiss from that guy.

If you were a human being, I’d say that you’re a real gentleman.
And if I were a female primate, living in the jungles of Borneo, having a black fur coat and 98% DNA identical to humans, I’d rather say you’re a most courteous alpha male. ;D

Leni Qinan said...

CorticoWhat,

Thank you for the link to youtube! I wish Mr Ellison was as gorgeous as Richard Gere, but I’m afraid he looks rather more like the guy covered with money in the picture shown in the post. (Eek). Anyway, I don’t think this kind of job is my cup of tea.

Take care!

Leni Qinan said...

Maxi,

What makes you think that I like clever-and-ugly-as-a-hatful-of-a**eholes men?

I do have a contingency plan. My mind never stops working. Come back in a few days and you’ll know more about it.

Thanks for worrying!

Leni Qinan said...

Grassy,

Yeah, he looks like he has some serious bowell meteorism problems, just like BC, LOL.
But you know me, even having had a ‘dissipated life’, my idea of a job is not this one. Unfortunately for me, I personally choose the guys I sleep with and call me old fashioned, but there must be some feelings involved too. So definitely, Leonard Ellison is not a candidate.

And yes, I would worry a lot if Ed ever found out what I’m doing now. But as I said to Max… I have a plan (*giggles nervously*)

Fernando said...

Maybe Leonard just wants to talk.... Who knows....

Have a nice weekend!

Leni Qinan said...

Hahahaha (*laughs real loud*)

So you really think he only wants to talk, Fernando?

Nice weekend 2 U 2!

Fernando said...

Who knows?

Usually... el león no es tan fiero como lo pintan...

Have a great weekend.

Leni Qinan said...

Dear Fernando,

You surely know that joke that goes... every woman would love to have a mink on her back, a jaguar in the garage and a tiger in bed but she only keeps a swine on the couch?

I secretly hope that he's an adorable impotent grandpa, but I'm afraid I'll get the swine instead of the LEÓN, even if he's not as fierce as he seems hahaha))

Have a nice sunday and don't forget to wish our friend Rober a happy birthday!

Grass said...

Hey sis, I've come back here to check for your contingency plans.. I'm pretty sure you're working on it now so I'll keep checking. :-)

Have a nice day!


xxx

rebecca said...

Oh, Leni, what the heck did you get yourself into now? I can't wait for the next installment to see how this will play out.

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Grassy!

Yes, you're right! My evil funny plan won't fail, but it may have other consequences... don't even want to think of it, LOL.

Have a nice day too & give a sweet kiss to Gugu on my behalf!

Leni Qinan said...

Hi Rebecca!

Fear not: I'm working on an evil plan to get rid of the revolting tycoon. I hope it works. ;D

((abrazos))

rebecca said...

Pheww! Good, I feel better! ((abrazos))

Leni Qinan said...

*smiles at Rebecca*
and if it doesnt work, I'm convinced that some white knight will save me, I hope. ;D

((BTW, nice new pic, is that NY?))

rebecca said...

Thanks Leni! The new photo on
my blog is actually one of my husband's photos and, yes, that is NYC! (I'm just getting around to answering all my emails now!)

((abrazos))